Wild-Ass Kids

You know the line from As Good as It Gets – “you make me want to be a better person” – well the boys make me want to be a better person, but they also make me want to bash my head against the outside brick wall repeatedly until I pass out.

My children are broken. Please send help. Linda mentioned that the hour before Riley’s bedtime is bedlam at their house, and it is the same here. Perhaps it is part of being two years old. All I know is that our kids morph into some sort of raging-zombie-freakout-toddler around 7:00 every evening. Very little will console or sedate them. “I wanna go upstairs, mommy’s room”, “I wanna go downstairs, watch Cars”, “I no want Cars. I want Shrek”, “No Shrek, want Cars”, “I want milk”, “I want blue drink” – all done in the most annoying, high-pitched, toddler-whine known to man.

And now a monologue by Roark, followed by one from Cole. This was post-bath and I have no idea where this came from:

And I went to the park on that day and I won’t spill it. I won’t. Did you give me that Airborn? You did! He said speed. And I say OH CRAP just like today and I wanna go. And I went to the park and went pee pee in my potty and cole pooped at the park and I said hi to that boy. Daddy – I have… I have some airborn. Did you color? I like do it. I like…to have that pen – color, color. I just like color. I wanted to color and… I like color. I just like color. I don’t like Cole say that. I just don’t. Mamma don’t color with that pen. I like do it. I just don’t want you do it. I like that pen and just like do with myself. I just like do it.

Then he took a breath.

And right after this Cole said:

I have a hammer.

And that was all he had to say.

Although earlier, right before his bath after they both had taken off all of their clothes he announced: “That is Roark’s butt. This is my butt.”

He is a man of few words.