Lupron High

Well, I have started the injection drugs for IVF. The Lupron? No big deal. I have to say that I was a little creeped out the first night - not knowing what to expect made it difficult to do, but once I made it through that first shot, I am no longer scared of it. I even did the second one in my stomach instead of my leg. It only burns for a little while after the shot. The only down-side I have seen so far is the headache that sets in a few hours after the shot. It feels like someone has hit the back of my head with a 2x4. Not much fun, but not all that bad considering I can just sleep it off.

Next step is more blood work on November 2nd, followed by a sonogram on the 4th - and then I start stims - I think these are the drugs that will make all of the eggs. I have heard about some bad side effects from the next round of drugs, but I am still not scared of them. The only ones I am dreading are the progesterone shots that begin later in November.

I worry about how much this is taking over my thoughts. My youngest daughter must be worried too. Earlier today she asked me if I was going to be really, really upset if this didn't work. She said that she doesn't want me to be disappointed. She is 13! I was pretty surprised to hear her sounding like such an adult. I thought about how I will feel if this doesn't work...if the first IVF doesn't end up successful...if there are no eggs to freeze, or the frozen transfer doesn't work - and we walk away as my husband and I agreed to before starting this... I will feel like we tried. We gave it our best shot and it wasn't meant to be. And then I will move on with my life. I hope that is not too hard to do. It is difficult to make a committment like this - one to have another child - and then have to let it go.