A Letter To My Dogs

Dear Shiner and Zieggy,

Why do you insist on playing in the mud and then sneaking in the house, only to leave huge muddy dog prints on our carpet? Is this a game that the two of you enjoy playing? Do you like to see me turn purple and yell? Do tell me, is it your love for the carpet shampoo machine that causes such behavior?

I must tell you that this little game is getting old. I don't want to play anymore. So STOP! No more of the muddy dog feet. No more of the digging in the fire ant piles. No more trampling the grass. And no more chasing each other through the house. We will have no fun here anymore.

New rules for the dogs:

  • Wipe feet before entering the house
  • Tread softly on all grass
  • Go to the bathroom like we do - and flush
  • Don't forget to wipe
  • No running in the house
  • No playing in the rain
  • Stay inside unless you are pulling weeds or trimming the bushes
  • Pull weeds and trim the bushes
  • Take yourselves for walks
  • Zieggy: learn to throw the ball for Shiner
  • Shiner: Don't let Zieggy attack other dogs. Or People. Especially Basketball Boy.
  • Zieggy: Stop trying to kill Basketball Boy. He is after all only a boy.
  • Learn to fill up your own water bowl
  • Please get rid of the cats