All IVF, All the Time

Are you seeing a pattern here? You should. If you don't, you will. This sight will now be dedicated to my obsessing over IVF. It won't make sense. I won't sound rational. I will think about, complain and psycho-analyze everything, at least six times. Yes - I will be just like a 14 year old girl with her first real crush.

For you girls out there, you know exactly what I mean. For you boys, all I can say is that we talked about you. A lot. All the time. For many, many, many countless hours. In fact, if I could have that time back now, I would be 10 years younger...I am sure of it.

I got a call from the Dr. yesterday afternoon. Well, I missed the call and was graced with a lovely message on the recorder. I am not starting Lupron tonight. I don't know why. They just said that they got my blood levels back and I won't be starting until Friday - maybe. First I don't bleed, then I fail the blood test. Perhaps it was all that wine I drank the night before... "um, doctor - we can't start her Lupron tonight, she is still drunk". Add to the great news that they are not going to be open the rest of the day...so I get to call them back tomorrow and try to find out why I am delayed / why I flunked. I am a flunker. Well that - and a drinker. Go me.

Yesterday in the office, when I asked what it meant if my tests came back different than they wanted, I was told it would delay us a cycle. Now I am told two days. No idea why I am confused... makes perfect sense to me. All I keep thinking is "please don't let this whole experience be a giant mess of cloudy confusion" - although it is not like my mind can control it - so what is the point really?

14 year old girl obsessing...that is what I am to become once again.