Please may I pee now?

It is cloudy, cool and quiet outside as we drive to the hospital. The car is full – me, the girls, my husband – all wanting to be part of this day. We arrive 25 minutes early… Are we just a little excited? I have been drinking water since 7, and already have to go to the bathroom. I decide not to go and figure I can hold it as I was told to have a partially full bladder for the transfer. We will now refer to this decision as mistake number 1.

After getting into the pre-op room and trading my lovely clothes for a gown with missing ties, we sit around and joke about the procedure, the morning, how tired the girls are, and one of the girl’s desires to watch the Dennis the Menace movie while we wait. And wait. And wait. All the while, I have to go to the bathroom…and it is getting worse.

I finally sneak to a bathroom around 8:30 – ahhhh sweet relief – only to have to go again at 8:45, just as bad. The nurse comes to get us for transfer and lets me go “a little bit” so I don’t turn green. Have you ever tried to just go “a little bit” and then stop? Yeah – well, it sucks. Bad. I went only a “little bit” and returned to the room. This decision will now be tagged mistake number 2.

My husband puts on what he referred to as his Doctor-Ware and we head to the transfer room. Not much to it – same room they did the retrieval in. It is small, fairly dark, and attached to the embryo lab. There are about 5 people I have never seen along with my doctor. The whole process took only a few minutes, but I swear it felt like hours – due to the having-to-pee issue I was facing.

All I could think about was peeing.

Doctor: Look at the pictures of your embryos

Me: I have to pee

Doctor: We are ready for the embryos

Me: Damn, did I mention that I have to pee?

Doctor: OK, now be very, very still

Me: But I have to pee

Doctor: All right, we are done

Me: Now, can I pee?

Doctor: No.

WHAT? No peeing????? What the hell is that? No peeing for an hour. A whole HOUR? I was supposed to wait a whole freaking hour to go. UMMMM – That so was not going to happen. They took us back to the pre-op room where the girls were waiting (sleeping) and told me that if I had to go to the bathroom that badly, they would let me go in 20 minutes. WHAT? 20 minutes? Do you KNOW how I feel???? I really, really, really have to pee. Really.

So I waited. I stared at the ceiling and prayed that I would be able to make it. I watched the Mighty Ducks movie that was on TV and hoped I would make it. I finally started staring at the clock, eyes watering, counting the seconds, hoping I would make it. I swear to god, I did NOT think I would make it. I have never had to go that bad, and I better never have to go that bad again. When that nurse finally showed up again and let me go, I swore I would put her on my Christmas list. I was THAT happy to see her.

To wrap it up, they transferred two “very good” 50-80 celled embryos. They were not excellent, but the doctor was pretty happy with them. The pictures they gave us look like two tiny pepperoni pizzas. So – that is what the babies are being called – pepperonis. I sure hope they are growing…and not getting all lazy like my other 2 kids.