I have started mentally talking to my belly. I “think” to the babies all through the day. Do you suppose that is a sign of senility? I have to wonder...I have been slowly going over the edge for weeks now. It was only a matter of time.

Yes, I said babies above. I have NO idea if there is one or two, but for the oddest reason, I am convinced that both embryos stuck and we are having twins. We will know at our first ultrasound in a few weeks, but until then I will refer to them as…well, THEM. Wouldn’t twins be the greatest gift ever? I mean, aside from a baby at all. We are so blessed – so very very fortunate to be having these babies. I can’t be happier…I couldn’t feel more complete, more happy.

Things are different this time around. When I was pregnant with my teenage daughters, I was so scared. I couldn’t imagine how I would take care of them. I couldn’t picture my life with children. I couldn’t see my husband as a father. It just didn’t fit. I hated being pregnant, I hated labor, and I hated being a stay at home mom. I couldn’t wait to go back to work…to get back to what I thought was a real life. I was so wrong.

This time, I am excited about being pregnant. I am not afraid of labor. I am not scared of taking care of a baby. I am 100% into this pregnancy. My husband is much the same. It is amazing the difference made by actually planning a pregnancy and having to work for it. We have been hoping and praying for this miracle, and now we have it. My husband…what can I say? What a wonderful father he will be. What a perfect family we will have – even when everything isn’t perfect, at the heart of it - it will be.

Will you remind me of all of this when we are trying to get two screaming babies to sleep for more than 1 hour at a time? I am sure I will forget.