Crazy? Don't mind if I do!

I will be getting up at 4:30am tomorrow morning. Just typing it makes me sleepy. We have to leave here at 5:30 so that we can get to the hospital at 6:00. Tomorrow is the day. Yes, it is here. We are going to have these expanding, back-aching, headache inducing baby eggs taken out of me. I am so happy I could scream. But I won’t. Because it is late. And the dogs would get all crazy. And then the cat would get chased. And then there would be running and muddy paws and a dirty carpet…and I just don’t have the time or energy for the whole carpet cleaning thing tonight. So no screaming.

So – following our little adventure tomorrow, I get to go to court for round 1 of our custody battle. Drugged up. Tired. And drugged up some more. That should be fun for all. Laugh now. I won’t notice later, as I will be stressed out and drugged up.

The way we figure, we will have the embryos put back on Sunday. I just can’t believe that it is so close now. I should know by Thanksgiving if it worked. If I am pregnant. I don’t even know what to say next – I don’t want to jinx anything.

I went to the bookstore tonight. I looked at the pregnancy books and wished that I could buy them – that I had a reason to buy them now. I don’t so much care about the books, although some looked good (There was one that was called Pregnancy Sucks – so wanted that one) but it was more of me wanting to BE pregnant so bad. Right now. It is hard to be level headed about all of this. Hard to focus on things I can control and let the other stuff go. I just don’t know how to do it.

I feel like I am slowly going crazy. Although I know it is a short trip…