11.23.2004

I. Can't. Stop. Peeing.

Ever since I was permitted to pee, I have not stopped. Although let me explain, lest you get the wrong idea.

HPT sticks and I are developing a hate-hate relationship. They are the key to my knowing if I am pregnant. It is of course too early for them to tell me, but I keep peeing on them anyway. Why? I don't know. I feel like it is "doing something" instead of just waiting I suppose. I hate the whole 'waiting' thing. Hate it. Hate those pregnancy tests too...or did I already mention that? I told my husband that he may find me peeing on generic household items soon. The thermostat? Looks like an home pregnancy test to me! The dog should hide his bones. All objects should be put away - or I am likely to pee on them and then stare the stare of death waiting for a light pink line to show up on them.

In other news... who am I kidding, there is NO other news. There is NO news. I am 2 days past a 5 day transfer - 9 days past ovulation, and I have no news. Which as I pointed out is normal, but it is still killing me. KILLING ME.

I would tell you all that I have it out of my system and that I won't HPT tomorrow, as it won't tell me anything then either - but I would be lying. I will SO be peeing on the stick tomorrow...and as I watch the window with laser vision, and only see one line indicating 'not pregnant' - I will act surprised and pretend that I thought that there was a small chance I could know this early. I like to torture myself like that.

If I were smart - which I have clearly shown you over the past months that I am NOT - I would have waited until Thursday to test at all (just because it is Thanksgiving and how cool would it be to find out we are having a baby on THAT day?) and then I would not test again until Sunday. But now I am spiraling out of control and just can't stop the peeing... I may even run out of test before any real chance appears of finding out the truth. Of course the store is a mere block or so away and I can always buy more. After all we have spent on this, what is another 13.99 in order to save our thermostat and dog's bones from being peed on?