Let Me Count the Ways

I didn’t expect this to have the effect on me that it has. Sure, it was a sad story. Yes, it was one that kept me reading and feeling like I wanted to help if possible… but I didn’t ever expect it to seep into the crevices of my thoughts and heart and change my thinking, change me in the way that it has. My heart goes out to this family in a way I cannot describe and I cannot even explain why. Why has this affected me so deeply? Why has it changed my outlook on life? Why has it changed my feelings about my own family?

I was thinking about AT and his kids and the loss of his wife this weekend. I was so in awe of his love for her, and his ability to express it when she was sick, dying, and then after she passed away. I found myself telling complete strangers about the way he was able to articulate his feelings…it was that moving to me. And as I thought about this, I wondered why we tend to wait until people are sick, dying, or dead to tell them how we feel. I am not sure why we don’t invest more in our relationships while they are alive, growing and able to become better and better… Why do you think that is? Why do we take our relationships for granted?

I am going to *try* not to do this. I want to let those close to me know how I feel while we are healthy and alive. I want to make these relationships the best that they can be – and want those that I love to know how I feel. I want to make a difference in their lives while they have a chance to recognize and enjoy it.