Oh to be 17 Again

Her dad called me today. He told me what was going on over at his house – how Cassie had gotten into a fight with him over a football game, how he spanked her (didn’t know about this, thought he just threatened to), how he has now taken away her car for 6 weeks. Seems extreme to me, but not my call. I told him that she is probably exerting her independence – that she is not lashing out at him, but trying to obtain more responsibility. He doesn’t exactly agree, which doesn’t surprise me.

He expressed concern over her not having much of a social life. I asked how she can have one when they don’t permit her to do things. He said that she doesn’t ever ask except once in a blue moon. I wonder why…if she knows they will say no, or if she doesn’t want to do anything. I know she wants to spend time with me – wants to meet at a coffee shop or just hang out. But she knows they won’t let her hang out with me. Why doesn’t she want to hang out with friends?

Apparently she also told him that she had filled out some applications for jobs last time she was over here – which she did not. And that she was working with me to fill out college applications – which she is not. I outed her to her dad, which might not fare well for her, but didn’t know what she had told him when he asked me about both.

I don’t think he is doing the right thing – taking the car away, grounding her. I think that she needs more responsibility, not less. I think she wants an opportunity to make some decisions on her own, not be dictated to all of the time. I think it is time for her to grow up and she is dying to get the opportunity. I hope he doesn’t alienate her by doing these things…but am quite certain it is too late to see any other outcome.