Things we learned during our two week vacation:

  1. Kids think it is fun to lick every f-ing window they come into contact with.
  2. Travel anywhere with little kids is going to be a beating.
  3. New York city RIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR’S Eve is a nightmare…especially with two teenagers and two toddlers. Yes we are insane. Nice to meet you.
  4. If you make a reservation at a really nice restaurant in New York, thinking your kids will behave – because they have been such good babies so far – they will laugh in your face and misbehave so badly that you will not get one bite of the very, very expensive lamb that you ordered. You will take it back to the hotel with you thinking you will eat it later, however by the time you get Satan’s minions to bed you will want to do nothing but pass out.
  5. If you let your kid lick nasty windows, chances are good that they will contract the Death Virus. They will bring this virus home, and it will rear it’s ugly head one hour after landing…while in the restaurant – with plenty of witnesses.
  6. The Death Virus will then attack every family member and visitor rendering them useless vomiting lumps for three days. Welcome to our lovely home! Puke much?
  7. New Year’s Eve with a house full of sick people is not very much fun.
  8. After puking for days your immune system will be weak and you will get the cold to end all colds.
  9. Toddler noses NEVER STOP RUNNING.
  10. The Christmas presents that you are certain will be a HUGE hit will be completely ignored by your children.