Cake and Happiness

Well, I am down to a size 8 or 10 depending on the style / brand of pants / jeans. Considering I started at 14, I feel OK about this. I would LOVE to be a 4, because that is what I own so much of, but without regular exercise that isn’t going to happen. This fat ass won’t dissolve on it’s own…damn. Hate working hard…hate it. What I really want is a diet of chocolate, ice cream, coffee, bread and high carb foods that allows me to lose weight. That is what I really want. Also – I want cake.


My husband and I went to the bagel / coffee place over the weekend – one of the few surviving pre-baby activities that we now involve the boys in (and NO they don’t drink the coffee – they prefer Red Bull in their bottles). While we were sitting outside with the babies drinking our coffee and talking about our plans for the day, a man came up to us and started talking about his 10 month old twins. He told us their names, where they were born, how hard they are to take care of, what their sleep schedules are like, what they eat, how much they cost, who their pediatrician is, how hard they are to take care of, what development doctor they are seeing, what eye doctor their babies went to, how much time they spent in the hospital, how hard they are to take care of… seeing a pattern here? This man was WHIPPED. He was so beaten down by his two boys that he couldn’t see the sunshine in the sky.

When this guy left he handed my husband his phone number and told him to call him if he ever wanted to do something, because he was “always wanting to get out of the house”. My husband and I decided that this is truly one of the saddest men we have ever seen. He and his wife had struggled with infertility for over 5 years. They went through god-knows-what for years and ended up finally getting pregnant (after adopting a little girl no less) through IVF. They were blessed with twins, and now he complains all the time.

I certainly understand his challenges. I KNOW how hard it is to take care of two babies. But – this man works all day and his wife stays home and handles the babies. He sleeps all night and his wife handles the babies. The only time he has much “baby responsibility” is on the weekends and then he can’t hack it. This really makes me sad. Did he think it would be easier? Did he not really want kids? Is it just hard because there are two babies, or is it because they have a 4 year old too? Would he be the same if there was only one child in the family? Is he just lonely in general and maybe the kids are something to blame it all on? I wonder…

Later that evening when my husband and I were sitting in the living room holding our boys, we both announced how happy we are with our children, with our lives, with everything around us…and it felt good. We felt complete – a family. And we realized that no matter how hard this baby thing is, we wouldn’t have it any other way.