Letter To My Body

Care of BlogHer

Dear Body:

WTF? You have disappointed me over the years here and there, however recently with the whole deciding not to function and almost killing me over the summer - You are SO FIRED.

Wanted: New body. Current size and shape are fine, however I require a normal liver (so I can have a drink already), normal heart (so I can run without a wanky heart monitor) and none of this other crap going on. ASAP.