Insurance Scandal

I will be 26 weeks tomorrow, which feels like progress. I went to the specialist for a sonogram today and to my regular baby doctor for a follow up…busy day for a homebody like me.

The babies are 2 pounds each, which is FANTASTIC. Baby A is now breach, and Baby B is now head down – they have completely reversed directions! The doctor once again said it is unlikely they will switch spots, but he said that last time too, so I don’t know if I believe him. As it is now I will go C-Section unless they flip again.

My cervix has shortened to 3.2 from 4.1, which did not seem to alarm them at all. The doctors both felt that 26 weeks with twins is going to cause shortening…so they are pleased. They put me on 7 days of some sort of preventative antibiotics to hopefully avoid premature rupture of membranes (as with both previous babies), so that is good I suppose.

The only pending issue is the heartburn. My one MAJOR gripe at today’s appointment was the ever-loving pain in my chest that is preventing me from eating and drinking, and SLEEPING, and making me lose weight (not that I couldn’t stand to slow down on the weight gain). I was begging for relief. He recommended TUMS, and I really bit his head off…stating: “you wouldn’t offer candy to a crack addict would you? That does NO good!!!!” – I think he got the picture because he wrote a prescription for Nexium. Now for the bad news: my insurance company declined the prescription and now I have to wait for the pharmacy to call the doctor and have him call the insurance company. Why do they do this? The prescription is obviously good, or he wouldn’t have written it. Goddamn insurance disaster. I actually cried at the pharmacy and I am sure I freaked the lady out. See, I had just eaten thinking relief was on the way, and now another sleepless night of this shit. I have hit the end of my rope. Sad, isn’t it?

So, good news and bad news continues. I think I am setting the trend lately.

Better Days Ahead

There BETTER be BETTER days ahead!

The Good News: I went back to the doctor Friday and things were much calmer in the contraction department. I only had a few in the time they monitored. Cervix was unchanged, although there is plenty of blood...but, ick - who wants to hear about that? I also got the second Betamethasone shot for the lung development, so that was a relief. Next appointment Monday afternoon - they plan to do a sonogram and another FFN test. What fun.

The Bad News: The Heartburn. My god the heartburn. Save me!!! It is absolutely killing me - and I am totally not joking. I was up last night until 1:30 with it, back up at 3:30 for the day. I can't eat or drink anything without feeling like I am going to die. Today has consisted of breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of toast, spread out over the WHOLE day, and now only half gone. That is it for food today. Poor babies. They are living on 1 egg and 1 piece of toast. Well that and all of the fat that is growing on my ass and legs. Even water makes my chest hurt. My husband assures me that it must be the drugs I am taking because water doesn't cause heartburn. Whatever...I feel horrible. And food is NOT my friend.

Other News: Not much in the Other News department. My girls are here this weekend, which is good - but difficult. I cannot do anything with them, so I am missing soccer games and movies and dining out, all the things we normally would do together. My husband is playing soccer dad, and we are skipping everything else. What a boring future I am facing for the next 9 weeks.

Blue Bayonet

My brother told me once that in the Army they place the actives on Blue Bayonet if they are to stay confined to quarters and wait for further instructions on being deployed somewhere far away doing something dangerous - such as going to war, or other misc. stuff he would never talk much about. I believe this term fits.

Well, spent yesterday in the hospital after my latest FFN test (that tells if I will deliver in the next two weeks) came back positive. That sucked. Apparently if the test comes back negative they are very confident that I will make it two more weeks, however there is some question about the positive results…meaning they are not sure that it will happen – they use the test to get a negative and rely on those results, but positive results are not always reliable. Go figure.

I started out the day with contractions 2-3 minutes apart – most of which I was not really feeling. After three shots of some evil drug that made me shaky, they were down to about 10 minutes, which the Dr. felt was acceptable, and I was able to go home in the evening. They also gave me one shot of something to help the boys’ lungs develop if they are born in the next week or two. I get another one of those shots today when I go in to see the Dr.

The not so good news is that I am now on VERY restricted activity – bathroom, shower and eating are all permitted…and that is about it. This could make for some long days.

The great news is that the boys are fine, very active and normal heartbeats. They are just apparently anxious to make an entrance.

25 Weeks

25 weeks. That is how pregnant I am. It is hard to believe that I am making it this far without problems. I was already in the hospital for the duration at this point with my last child. Nice to make progress.

I was placed on more restrictions today. No vacuuming, no housework requiring moving furniture, standing up, pushing or pulling or reaching. I can sit on a stool and dust and clean baseboards. Funny – like I want to do those things anyway. It does kinda put a kink in my “clean a room a day” idea. I have even been sticking to it so far.

So now I am restricted to reading, going out to dinner or a movie (if dropped off at the door and picked up at the door) and sitting on my ever-expanding ass. No mall walking. No walking more than 10 minutes at a time. No exercise. But – when the Dr. put it in perspective, it was no big deal. He asked me if I wanted to take home babies. Well, DUH – yes! If I want healthy, alive babies, I am to follow directions. Simple enough. Done.

My husband is out of town next week. I am home alone. Doing nothing, with nobody here. What am I going to do? I will certainly read a lot. I will watch useless television. I will read blogs. I will wish I were working out, and the time will pass VERY slowly.

OOOh – I have a sonogram to see the little monsters on Monday – so I have that going for me!!!

The Snob Factor

This past weekend I went to Austin with my husband who had to be in some meetings on Friday. I stayed at the hotel and read by the pool. I have never felt so useless in my life. It is becoming hard, after only one week to stay home and do nothing much. I find that I have little to talk about or contribute. It is an odd feeling, and one I remember from when I stayed with each of my girls after they were born. It is not that I don’t have anything to contribute at all, it is simply that my job has always defined much of who I am (at least to me). I take great pride in how successful I have become at work, and although I hate my job most of the time, now that I am home, I miss being important. Sick.

Over the weekend we looked at a few areas and homes to get an idea of where we would look when we were closer to moving. We spent some time Friday late afternoon and all day Saturday driving around. I think we have decided on Leander / Crystal Falls / Wimberly as the most likely areas to live. We are pretty set on acreage and it is hard to find much land in Austin itself or many of the nearby areas. We also want a view of something other than the neighbors or concrete or businesses. That is a bit limiting in itself. Then there is what we titled the “snob factor”. We don’t want neighbors that have 16 non-functioning cars in their front lawn, or a tractor as a lawn ornament. We don’t want hippie neighbors that sleep on a “sleeping porch” (yes, we actually ran into people like this). We also don’t want something plain, ordinary, Plano-tized as our oldest calls it – housing developments where everything is the same, house after boring house. We are picky.

Now we wait for babies and the OK to move. It feels so close.

YUM

Who can resist the power of the pop tart? Certainly not me.

Today

I am sure these posts are becoming more and more boring as the days go by...

Just to prove my point, here is what I accomplished today:

Ø Vacuumed the living room twice (just to make sure all the pet hair was history)
Ø Shampooed the living room carpet twice (see above)
Ø Vacuumed the living room AGAIN – to get up all the hair that the shampooer pulled to the surface, but wouldn’t pick up
Ø Dusted the whole room
Ø Cleaned the baseboards
Ø Cleaned the lower part of the walls where the dogs have made them dirty looking
Ø Cleaned the window sills
Ø Cleaned the blinds on all 5 windows
Ø Cleaned the ceiling fan
Ø Cleaned all glass surfaces

I didn’t get the mirror cleaned or the fireplace cleaned…I was too tired. 4 ½ hours was all I could handle. I am now wishing I were dead. Seriously. I was getting more rest at work. I told my husband that I am NEVER cleaning this room again, and I am NOT kidding. That carpet kicked my ass. *sigh*

Tomorrow’s agenda includes cleaning the bathroom in our room – because it has NO carpets! Hopefully it won’t take more than an hour or two at the longest. I tend to clean more than needed, so it could take the full two hours – but at least it won’t be as bad as today.
I also have to run some errands (home depot and find a bathing suit). That should be more fun than today.

Make new friends, but keeep the old...

I didn’t keep any of my childhood friends. No – wait. That makes it sound like I threw them out one spring while going through the closets. What I mean is that I didn’t do a good job of staying in touch. I have not talked to anyone I grew up with in many years. And, it makes me sad.

I only had a few very close friendships when I was a teenager: Erin, Annette, and Rachel were my closest of friends. Then there were others that I spent time with, but our relationships did nothing to compare to how I was with these three.

I met Erin at the youth group of our church in 7th grade. I don’t even remember meeting her – I just know that we were inseparable from almost the beginning. We were always talking on the phone, babysitting together, spending the night with each other, or getting in trouble at church for writing notes to each other. I cannot think of a week going by from 7th grade until graduation where I didn’t talk to Erin. And we didn’t even go to the same school. Erin and I started to drift apart after high school, and just never recovered. I got married – she was in my wedding. She got married, I was in her wedding. But things just were not the same. We were not the same. She has since had at least one child. I have had two and have two more on the way. I have been remarried – I have no idea who she is married to now. My mother has died – I have no idea who in her family is still around, or what they are up to. There was a time when I was closer to her family than my own…her mother Rosie and sisters Ann and Becky. I wonder how they are now… I have sent cards, and even once she sent one back, but those times we were close are just *gone* and we have moved on.


I met Annette while working the summer before my Junior year at the mall. She worked in the shoe department and I worked in domestics and fine jewelry of a big ole’ department store. We too were instant friends. Her father passed away once Christmas eve, which left her alone in her dad’s house at 18 and we seemed to make the best of that horrible situation... I remember spending days upon end over there planning our futures, talking about sex, working out, watching movies, going shopping. I even lived with her for a while before getting my first apartment when my mother kicked me out of the house (a story for another time). We were good friends just a short time longer than Erin and I were, but that too faded away. Once I was married and had children I guess my priorities changed…I didn’t spend my free time with the girls anymore, I spent it with my husband. My mom was quite sick and I know that took much of my time too.

Rachel and I met in 5th grade band class. We both played clarinet. We were not in the same 5th grade regular classes but we had similar sick/silly senses of humor and we just ‘clicked’. We lived fairly close to each other, and always went to the same schools through high school. We would take many of the same classes to spend more time together, and even double-dated a few times our Senior year (prom included). We were not as close as Erin, Annette and I were, but we had a very special friendship. We were around each other all day, and she personally made high school bearable for me. We both went away to Indiana University and she stuck with me through some pretty horrible college situations. Without her, I would have been lost and lonely. Rachel was also in my wedding, but that was really the last time we talked to each other or saw each other. Some very strange things happened at my reception, and I never really came to terms with them. My god parents were out in the parking lot and saw Rachel and another girl (her date?) making out. It was a little more than I could take at the time, although now I wish I had not let it bother me. I should not have felt threatened or strange by that situation, but I let it pull us apart. One more friend gone.

Somehow I let those precious friendships slip away. I sure do miss those girls – Erin, Annette, and Rachel. I hope they are doing well wherever they are…

Am I Normal? (Don't Answer That)

I am six months pregnant today. I cannot believe that time has gone by so quickly. And yet at the same time, it feels like it is dragging. Explain that to me please.

What feels different from a month ago?

* Size: I am bigger. Much bigger. So much bigger. None of my maternity clothes fit except the ones that I bought REALLY big (my most recent medium and large purchases). I cannot tie my shoes without taking a break between shoes – it takes my breath away.

* Shaving: I cannot shave my naughty parts, because I cannot see them. This seriously drives me crazy because of the “new hair growth” itching. It is driving me crazy, but I am not about to ask my husband to take a razor to those parts…nope, not gonna happen.

* Eating: I cannot eat much at one sitting. I get full so incredibly fast. If I do eat a normal amount, I regret it for hours after because my stomach is just too full to function.

* Movement: The babies are moving all the time now. I can even see my stomach move when they wiggle around, which is a little freaky – like aliens in there or something.

* Energy: I have more energy than I did a month ago. I can stay awake all day without a nap if I need to and function on 8 hours of sleep.

* Sleep: I can’t sleep. I go to sleep ok, but I wake up so often that I feel like I am not sleeping at all.

* Readiness: I am emotionally more prepared for babies now. I am off work and have time to wash baby clothes, get things ready in their room, and do all of the planning needed to bring two new people into our lives.

* Time: As I said before, pregnancy seemed so far away before but is now creeping up on me. I am excited and nervous and scared and happy and so many emotions that it is hard to deal with them all. Is this normal?

Everybody Wants to be Me

Today was my first day of maternity leave.

Actual conversation from this morning:

Me: Guess what I am doing right now?
Husband: What?
Me: Absolutely, positively NOTHING!
Husband: You suck.

And what have I accomplished so far today (besides sucking)?

• Cleaned our downstairs bathroom top to bottom. It is seriously clean enough to eat off of any part of it. It is a very small bathroom and it took over an hour to clean. It smells good, it looks good, and it is nice to cross it off my list.
• Went to Sam’s club to pick up all the big household items (toilet paper, paper towels, kitchen sponges, etc). This turned out to take a LONG time because the magnetic strip on my Sam’s card wasn’t working so I was shuffled over to the Customer Service line. Which is of course NO SERVICE to customers…it is merely a pain in the ass.
• Went to Walmart to get the items I could not find at Sam’s. Such a busy freaking place. Why does everyone go there – all at once? Parking is a mess. The parking lot is strewn with carts that people are too lazy to put in the cart bins/holders. The lines are long, the people are rude… I hate it there.
• Cooked dinner. And it sucked. I made some chicken and vegetable thing that I will NEVER EVER make again. It tasted like a pot pie without the crust and too many vegetables. Ick.
• Ate 4 pop tarts. Yes – 4, but not all at once. I am after all only human.
• Read all of the journals that I like, which I never get to do.
• Talked to the short-term disability people at Cigna. This was not much fun. I got the feeling that they really, really, really want me back at work. They kept quizzing me about my ability to take conference calls from home, or work an hour a day in the office. Like that is worth my time. I sent them to my doctor to discuss the issues. He is the reason I am home.
• Re-faxed all the paperwork that I faxed to Cigna last week because they claim they didn’t get it. I even have the acknowledgement printout that stated it faxed successfully, so I faxed that too. Grrr.
• Talked to my oldest daughter. Twice. She will most likely call again too. Her dad isn’t home tonight and she is not fond of her step-mom, so she likes to call and complain about her. I don’t blame her – the woman is not “all there”
• Read for a few hours.
• Surfed EBay looking at 1000 and 800 thread count Egyptian Cotton sheet sets, finally deciding that we cannot afford them. But wow – they are NICE.
• Watched That 70’s Show, because – who can resist that stupid humor? Not I.

And that about wraps it up. Still to come tonight – bubble bath and more reading. Don’t you want to be me?