Journal Entries From My Mom 5-12-87


Today is over. Who knows what tomorrow holds. The exhaustion, the stress, the frustration of unfulfilled expectations and plans. Who knows! What is real - What is imagination. You see the looks and hear the words - The eyes belie the words - the words do not echo the facial expressions - does the smile mean pleasure as in agreement or does it indicate amusement at a mistake. Does the joviality mean friendship or a hidden knife for the back. Ah, the 2 faces so many people wear. Ah, the joys of a bureaucracy.

The dog barks incessantly. She likes to wind her chain around the rosebush until she cannot move. She keeps going around in her hopes for freedom. Each revolution constrains her more in her search for freedom. In her quest for independence, she restrains herself more. The enigmas of life.