The Journey

I have a date tonight. With my husband. This makes me very, very happy.

We went to talk to a lawyer yesterday about options for the situation with the girls. The news is bitter-sweet. The best the girls can hope for is 60% of their time with us / 40% with their dad. This is the flip/flop of what is in place today. Not exactly what the girls want but better than what they have now.

The biggest issue with all of this is that the girls will need to hire their own lawyer (we would have to pay for it of course) and they would file a claim to have custody amended. They would sign an affidavit that says they want custody changed to be with me more. Then, we would (with our own lawyers) re-open the custody case and go to court to have it changed. This way it is our two lawyers and the girls wishes against their dad. This gives us a great chance of getting things changed, without me having to ex-husband bash in court in front of my kids. I will NOT tear him down in an effort to spend more time with them…it is not the right way to handle things. Unfortunately all of this is not going to be inexpensive. No – not by a long shot. I was told that it could run 10, 20, 30 thousand dollars for this or more. I have to admit that it made me dizzy.

So now, we talk to the girls and let them decide what they want to do. Not sure they will go through with it and a tiny, tiny part of me won’t be too sad if they don’t. That is a HUGE battle for not much more time with them. Is it worth it? The emotional strain...the money...the risk of making an already horrible relationship with my ex-husband worse? Oh yes. Any amount of time I spend with my daughters is worth it - whatever the cost. I am just not looking forward to the journey.