I have found myself running out of anything NEW to say here. I go to the hospital, I see babies, sometimes I change and feed them. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Cole is 4 pounds 10 ounces and Roark is 5 pounds 6 ounces. They are growing more slowly now that they are starting to eat some of their meals through the bottle. This takes a lot more energy than the tube feedings. Roark is doing very well and continues to out-do his little brother. We are guessing they will send him home soon, whereas Cole is still having issues breathing while eating and is just more tired and tiny than his big brother. We cannot bring him home until he has 7-10 days with no breathing / heart problems and considering he had several this morning while being fed, it may be a while. Poor Cole. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have to bring one boy home and leave the other there – whatever happened to “no man left behind” ??????

My girls are with us for all of July…which is making seeing the boys as much as I would like difficult. I would like to spend all day up there, however instead I get to take my oldest daughter and her friend to Driver’s Education for two hours everyday. My ex-husband’s wife agreed to take her friend everyday when they signed her up. She did this KNOWING that the girls were with me in July. Driver’s Ed is in July…this of course pisses me off. Like I don’t have enough to do with TWO newborn babies. Idiots.

Well – I decided to stop breastfeeding earlier this week. I just stopped cold turkey and OHMYMOTHERFUCKINGGOD my chest was killing me after 12 hours. I couldn’t function – so I pumped again. And low and behold my milk had doubled what it should be after that time-frame. And – it has been pretty abundant ever since. So – since I am against the cabbage-in-the-shirt thing (skeeves me out) I am still pumping. Go me. Could I be anymore indecisive? No – I could NOT!

Oh – and today is Day 1 of the South Beach Diet for me. I have done this one before and had fantastic results…so good-bye baby weight. I cannot wait to get back into my old clothes…unfortunately I am FAR, FAR away from that happening. I am currently wearing a size 12 jeans. Before I got pregnant last fall I was wearing size 4. I have so far to go. Damn McDonalds. I blame fast food and morning sickness and my thoughts that everything I was eating was going to the babies instead of my ass. I gained at least 35 pounds during the pregnancy and the boys weighed less than 6 pounds total. I – am now not pregnant – just fat.