This is a list of potential things to write about – for a child in 3rd grade…thought it would be funny to take a shot at it. Underlined sections are my input to the suggested writing prompts.
1. Hello. My name is Not something I am going to write here. I am now in NO grade. Today is the first day of school. Last year I learned how to travel a lot and almost stay sane. This year I want to learn how to not travel at all. I really like to complain. All the time. My favorite subject is anything someone will listen to…but it usually has to do with me. A subject I don't like is talking about my girls’ father. I hope to improve in the kind of parent I am. Something my teacher should know about me is a very odd thing to think about. If I change teacher to “someone I don’t know” then I would say that the thing some person should know about me is that I really, really, really love my children and my husband, and my goal in this life is to not hurt them in any way.
2. My list of things that interest me
Sailboats
Gardens
Dogs
Camping / Hiking
3. Choose any item from the above list and write about it.
No
4. Goals for the year
Well, last year my goals were to swear less (hell yeah), get up at
5. Why it's great to be a kid of ___ parents' names
My mom is dead, my dad is an ass – I won’t even go there.
6. All about baby-sitters
See this post: and this one. Nuff said.
7. How old I'd like to be and why
I like being 37. Life is good. I am happy… I don’t want to go back in time, and I don’t want to be older without being forced to go there - so 37 is a good age.
8. All about my teacher
See this entry.
9. All about Mom
My mom would have to be the person in the world I have been closest to - next to my husband. She raised my brother and I all by herself, and work all the time just so that we could grow up and be normal snotty kids. I miss you mom.
10. All about Dad
He is an asshat. Never speak of him again.
11. School days
I liked school most of the time. There were a few years I hated, like in 7th grade at
wouldn’t have to go outside with the thugs at recess.
12. After school
My brother and I would stay by ourselves after school. Especially after a few very bad episodes with babysitters
13. Weekends
I would talk on the phone or spend the night at a friend’s house – from about 10 years old until I moved out at 20.
14. What I do well
Procrastinate. Well, that and pretty much any job I have ever had. Except that two week stint at McDonalds Junior year. That blew chunks.
15. Dear Mom and Dad, About my report card. . .
I am the greatest child you could ever want. Count the A’s – go ahead and try. Want to use my calculator to add them all up????
16. If I could spend an hour with (Former) President Clinton, here are some questions that I'd like to ask him.
What were you thinking?
17. Usually a day in October is designated as National Grouch Day. These are things that make ME grouchy.
Not enough sleep. Being told I am wrong (even if it is true). Being made to do someone else’s work and getting no credit for it. Working for the monetary equivalent of pond-scum.
18. Someone I'll never forget
The baby sitter when I was 5 that locked me in her basement and told me the boogy man was going to get me. I hate you, you bitch.
19. A good movie I've seen
There are so many. Every day I think of several that I claim to be my favorite. I like When Harry Met Sally, Goodwill
Hunting, Better Off Dead, American Beauty, Traffic, Mystery Alaska, Grand Canyon, The Seventh Sign, Seven, Shrek…. Yes, I can go on with this ALL DAY.
20. Ten things I want to accomplish by time I'm 40 years old
Oh dear god – that is in like, 3 years! I have more than 10…but I would have to say in 10 years...before I am 50: I want to have another child, watch mine learn to drive, go to college, maybe get married. I want to get a new job that I love, maybe finish college, build a sailboat. I want to move to
21.
Lance Armstrong
22.
I am a fan of Renee Zellweger, Tom Hanks, Andy Garcia, Clint Eastwood, Steve Martin – many of them are quite good in different films.
23. The most important invention of all times
The toilet
24. Ten things that make me happy
Dogs, sunshine, summer, my girls, my husband,
25. Ten things that make me cry
Depends on the time of the month… could be anything. My mom, cancer, loss of family members, when my children are hurting, when I miss my girls, when I hurt someone I love
26. Getting up in the morning
Makes me grumpy.
27. All about our school principal/director
I will use My Boss. And since I don’t talk about work here as I said earlier, I won’t tell you that I hate him.
28. All about our school headmaster/superintendent
I will use my boss’s boss. See above.
29. My favorite month of the year
June – summer and my wedding anniversary.
30.
Halloween…just for kids and always fun.
3l. A list of my favorite foods
Pasta, pizza, coffee, alcohol.
32. A list of my favorite TV programs
I tend to watch a series on DVD rather than on TV – but I like Alias, Scrubs, Northern Exposure (yes, I know it is old). I liked the first two seasons of 24. I am addicted to Fear Factor (shut up – I like watching people eat bugs)
33. My list of things I'll NEVER do
It is dangerous to say you will NEVER do anything – because Murphy will stick you in a position where you have no choice but to do it – and you end up looking like an ass.
34. My list of 10 things that should be changed
No taxes for me (screw the rest of you). Equal custody should mean equal visitation. More humane way of issuing the death penalty. Allow people to ask to be put to sleep when they are tired of living. All companies have to fund ongoing education for their employees. Overtime for salaried employees should be against the law. Less traffic in my town. Carbs should not be bad for you – and should HELP you lose weight. Alcohol should be like vitamins – encouraged and sold everywhere. Fat should be the preferred way to look. Exercise should be banned.
35. My list of things I just don't understand
I don’t understand lots of things – most of them are political in nature. I tend to get so far behind in a subject that I never quite figure out what is going on in the world.
36. My list of things I'll never forget
More fun is my list of things I always forget – and then wish I had them with me…such as my keys when I am getting ready to leave. My wallet, when I am checking out at the store. My badge when I am going to work out. My ID when I am going to work. My laptop cord when I am going to work from home. My cell phone when I am leaving the house. My keys when I shut the car door….
37. My list of things that everyone should try at least once
Joining the Mile High Club. Camping. Boating.
38. I wish . . .
For everyone to be as lucky as I have been in life. I wish for all people who want kids (and will try to love them to the
best of their ability) - to be able to have them. For all children to be loved. To be remembered fondly when I die. To do something great in my lifetime. To witness a miracle. To help my community. To be a good person.
39. My list of 10 crazy reasons I didn't do my homework
I never used these, but like them: I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. My dog ate it. My cat ate it. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy. I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to MY TEACHER'S already heavy workload. I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked. The lights in our house went out, and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box. I didn't do it, because I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
40. My reasons that everyone should have a pet
You can blame smelly farts on them. They are nicer than people. The always love you.
41. My list of the most important reasons for going to school
To get a better job. To make more money. To meet new people. To be smarter.
42. All about my first day in kindergarten or preschool
I don’t remember my first day in kindergarten – but I remember one time when a friend of mine stapled her finger to her paper.
43. My holiday wish list
A pony, a baby, a silver diamond solitaire necklace, books, DVDs, running shorts and shirts (T shirts), music, leather coat.
44. My list of things worth saving
Anything my husband or children have ever given me. Magazine article covering our wedding. Pictures from years gone by. My piano.
45. 10 people I'd like to meet
(some are no longer alive) George Sheehan, my biological parents, God, Einstein, Bill Bryson, Charlie Manson, Bill Gates before he became rich.
46. 10 people I would NOT like to meet
Clinton, my dad, Lucifer (if he is real), any serial killer out on the streets, myself as a 15 year old teenager - dear god I was a mess, a very mad bear, any racist, a pack of wild wolves, my biological parents (yes, I am conflicted), myself at the end of my life - having accomplished nothing
47. Field trips
Any bar. The Zoo. Art museums.
48. Hints on how to get good grades
Study for Christ sake. That, or cheat. They would both work.
49. Predictions for the future
Work will always be less fun than not working. Politics will remain confusing.
50. What I do when I'm bored
Surf online.
51. My favorite holiday
Halloween or 4th of July.
52. How I feel about my name
Hate it.
53. A planet I might like to visit
Have no interest in leaving Earth.
54. Dad's angry. Here are five reasons why
Who cares?
55. If I could plan a dinner menu, this is what I'd like to have
Stuffed artichokes, spinach stuffed chicken, salad.
56. Things that scare me
The unknown. Failure.
57. Dreams
Everybody should have them.
58. Complaints
I should do less of this. If you have any about me, I don’t care.
59. Jokes
We can never have enough jokes. LEAVE YOUR FAVORITE FOR ME TO READ PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
60. I could never live without . . .
My husband.
6l. TV or radio commercials that I like
I don’t – they are a waste of my time.
62. TV or radio commercials that I dislike
All of them.
63. I look forward to . . .
Vacations, date night, days with my girls.
64. I admire people who . . .
Have no regrets, and those that can put up with me.
65. The best thing that happened recently is . . .
I finally am out of my funk and appreciate the life I have.
66. Things that make me laugh
Great jokes. SEND ME SOME.
67. What makes me special or unique
My name. My crazy love for something one moment and hate the next…for instance, vegetarian to Atkins lover
within days.
68. The 10 commandments for my husband or wife
Thou shalt love thy wife no matter what
Thou shalt always have date night
Never under any circumstances say mean things
Thy wife is always right
Thou shalt never think your wife is fat
Or bitchy
Thou shalt buy her flowers. A lot.
Thou shalt LOVE her cooking
And think her ideas are fantastic
And always agree that pedicures are necessary
69. This story in the news concerns me the most
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2004-10/21/content_2121232.htm
70. Things that are valuable or precious to me
Picture of my mother, my girls’ baby pictures, my wedding pictures, my wedding ring, husband, girls, pets, health of
my loved ones.
71. My favorite vacation
Either the trip we took to
72. The most interesting sporting event I've seen
NOT curling. Or Cricket.
73. The best thing I've ever found
My sanity - about a month ago.
4. My favorite relative
I have NONE on my side...but I love my husband's mom and dad.
75. Sometimes I like to be alone
More often than most people I think.
76. If I were in charge of peace
I would give it a chance?
77. If I had a million dollars
I would buy you a monkey – you always wanted a monkey.
78. If I had magical powers
I would make everyone in the world content.
79. If I were the teacher of this class
OK – don’t know what to do with this one. Send everyone home early?
80. A place I'd like to live
In the woods, far far away from people. That – or
81. A list of my favorite books
Atlas Shrugged. The Fountainhead. Anything by George Sheehan. Anything by Robert Fulghum. Anything by Bill Bryson.
82. My list of movies to avoid
The Thin Red Line, Taxi Driver, Snow Falling on Cedars, Four Rooms
83. Ten book characters to invite to a party
Dracula,
Christopher John Francis Boone from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, John Gault, Jesus
84. The best parts of going to this school are . . .
I will assume we mean my work…and there is nothing good about it – except that I DO get paid…
85. Pet peeves
Adults that talk like children, fighting without cause, people that don’t know what they believe in, yelling at children.
86. Things that drive me batty
Stupid people
87. Things I'll do when I'm 16 years old
Been there, don’t want to go back. Things I did do at 16: Broke my arm, skipped school and went to the beach, got my first real job, drank coffee for the first time, babysat overnight for my godparents
88. Don't you just love it when . . .
I update?
89. Don't you just hate it when . . .
I don’t?
90. When I'm a parent I will/will not let my child . . .
I don’t let my children put down any race, religion, or group of people. Ever.
91. All about Halloween
FUN FUN FUN – candy, kids, cute kids, late nights, scary movies, decorations, parties, chocolate
92. The best Halloween was . . .
My oldest daughter’s first… we dressed her up as a dalmation and took her to the neighbors for candy…so fun.
93. All about Christmas/Hannukkah
I hate Christmas. I don’t know anything about Hanukkah but imagine I would feel the same about it – too commercialized.
94. I am thankful for these hands that hold . . .
The ability to shape my children’s future. The ability to hold their hand, wipe the hair from their eyes, help them with their homework… cook them dinner, and hug them tight.
95. These feet have been to so many places
And they are tired.
96. My heart belongs to
My family.
97. "Itis" sufferers:
I have no itis.
Except maybe workitis.
98. I wish my mom would . . .
Be alive again.
99. I wish my dad would . . .
I really wish nothing about him. Ever.
100. Why are you lucky?
101. Commands from Mom and Dad (to my girls)
Pick up your room. Do your chores. Be nice to your sister. Do NOT talk back. Do what your dad says – unless you don’t feel like it. If your step-mom tells you to do something, do whatever you want. Study hard. Have fun.
102. Someday . . .
I will grow up.
103. If I could go back in time . . .
I wouldn’t
104. Things might be different in the year 2020. . .
Or they may be the same ol’ shit.
105. My dreams for
That we don’t fuck up the world so much that there isn’t much of our country left.
106. Happy memories
Are those made with people you love.
107. My old teddy bear (or any stuffed animal)
Was Wesley the Weasle. He was pink. I still have him. He has been through a lot over the years.
108. How to survive in school
Don’t pick fights. Make a few good friends. Learn from the good teachers.
109. Talking on the telephone
Should not be your main goal in life.
110. Year end thoughts
Damn – this last year was hard.
111. Slight irritations
People coming to the door, or calling for money
112. New Year's Resolutions
Make next year better. And everything in # 4
113. Advice for younger students
Be cool – stay in school. If your parents are paying for college, by all means, go!
114. "Why" list
Why are people such bad drivers? Why do dog farts smell so bad? Why is work never fun? Why is it so hard to be a grown up? Why is money such a big deal? Why do people feel sad? Why is our government such a farce? Why is there poverty? Why are people lazy? Why are we mean sometimes?
115. The best things in life are . . .
…just waiting for you to discover them
116. I am smiling today 'cuz . . .
Every day with my husband gets better and better…and it is almost Friday – and after that – VACATION!!! Oh yeah
baby…vacation.
117. It's a new semester! I will . . ., I will not. . .
I will wish I were in school, but I will not actually be there yet – too expensive and no time.