Bitter Pill

I am a mom. A mom who only has partial visitation with her daughters. Sometimes this is tolerable. Most of the time it is not. My ex-husband has recently remarried. This has made an already difficult situation worse for me as they now have a step-mom, and she pisses me off. All. The. Time.

Imagine if you will…you are at a parents meeting for your daughter’s team. They are discussing the season schedule, training, uniforms – nothing out of the ordinary. Also at this meeting is your ex-spouse and their significant other. This significant other volunteers to be the team mom. She was not even married to the girls’ dad at the time, and was already trying to play the role.

I didn’t handle it well. I wish I could say that I was happy to see her so willing to be a part of their lives…but I was not. I was angry and hurt and felt like I was losing my children. I don’t know why I feel that way – but I do.

And again – today – after picking up the girls for the weekend yet another sting. My oldest daughter learned to drive today. At 14. With her stepmom. Not with me. Not with her dad. With her stepmom. Again I should be happy. I am not. I am hurt having missed out on a very significant event in my child’s life. Gone forever…no way to ever recover that moment. Her first time driving. Ever. Without me. God that hurts.