Brittany is sad. She misses her father. She misses her dog. She misses her sister. She misses the old "normal" I think.

I am having a hard time relating lately on some levels - she was miserable there, yet she seems to miss it. Boggling. I am sure this is normal - our brains don't remember bad things nearly as well as the good. Right? Hello survival instinct. Welcome to our hell.

Our lawyer goes to court tomorrow to get an extension on the restraining order. Then we meet with our lawyer Monday for a planning meeting and off to court on Thursday for what could be the first of many visits...or could be the final settlement. It is really up to Brittany's dad and his lawyer. And did I mention that he has a hot shot criminal defense attorney? Yeah - the guy is surrounded by high profile cases - and has defended some big stars. And I think his wife is a senator. So there is that. We certainly have THAT.

We have been told that this could carry on for a year, at which time Brittany is 18 and it is all thrown away and she can do whatever she wants. AWESOME, no? Do I think it is worth it? The 250 an hour psychologist fees and the 250-450 an hour attorney fees? The days out of work and the doctor visits and court dates? The late night worrying and heartache for my daughter? ABSOLUTELY. Absolutely it is worth it if she chooses life...if she gets a chance to grow up and be happy...if she can someday break free of this overwhelming sadness that has taken over her life...it is worth every sacrifice I could make. But...if it is possible...I would really like karma or god or GOD or fate to ease the hell up already, because really now - enough is enough.