A Day Late

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary.

My husband and I had already decided to go out to dinner to celebrate sometime in July since the girls are with us this month and we didn’t want to miss time with them. To me this meant we will still acknowledge the fact that it was our anniversary. To my husband apparently it meant that the day could go totally unrecognized altogether.

I had bought a card, but on the way home from work I was worried that maybe I should have gotten him something else… I figured that even though we were officially celebrating the event later, my husband would still get me a card or have something small planned and I didn’t want it to appear that the day meant nothing to me. I wanted him to know that it was important to me.

As it turned out, there was no foul in my not getting him something special – because not only was there nothing special planned – he worked late and didn’t even eat dinner with me. He wondered upstairs around 8:30 and asked if I wanted to go get a drink somewhere – as I was in the bath recovering from ½ hour of “I don’t want to go to bed” screaming from the boys. Obviously I had no interest. Instead we watched Nip/Tuck with the girls for a while and I went to bed. This morning, a day after our anniversary, he sent me an email recognizing our anniversary.

I know that my complaints sound pathetic and whiny. “I would be happy that he sent the email” “You have a wonderful husband and an anniversary isn’t what shows that he loves you” “Isn’t he a fantastic father and loves you?” – and my response to all of these is that they are true. Which is all fine and dandy. I love him. I appreciate him. He is a good husband and a kick-ass father. Yet, at the same time my feelings were hurt and I didn’t feel appreciated or special on a day that I think is meant just for that.

Anniversaries are the days where you get to hear that your partner loves you, needs you, and knows in their soul that they made the right decision to be with you forever. When that day whisks by without recognition…it just stings a little.