Baby Talk

Things my boys would be saying to me if they could speak:

If I wanted another bite of egg, I would pick it up my own damn self!

Not sleepy. Not sleepy. Not sleepy. NOT FUCKING SLEEPY!!!!!

Hey, YOU! Change my diaper. Ummmm, NOW! NOWNOWNOWNOW! Would you like to sit in poopy pants? Huh? NOW!!!

How dare you leave my presence without asking permission. I will now punish you with the high pitched screeching sounds of terror… AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Please put me to bed, I am so very sleepy. Hello? Can you hear me? Allrighty then – I will now turn into a butt – you had your chance.

Cheerios please. No – not Kix – Cheerios. Cheerios, DAMNIT!

If you do not stand while holding me, I will scream. I mean it. Scream – loud. Seriously. OK - I warned you not to sit down… WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

No – I do not want anymore eggie bites and quit singing that damn song.

First you want me IN the bath, then you want me OUT? Make up your mind woman.