Shades of Gray

I had a glimpse into what it may feel like to be faced with miscarriage today - and I have to tell you that it shook me to the core. I cannot imagine having come through all of this, to only have this pregnancy fail now. It is such a horrible feeling and I never ever want to feel it again. Ever.

I am currently waiting for more doubling times from my earlier HCG and progesterone blood test - hoping everything comes back ok. I was not supposed to go back for anymore blood work, but ran into some issues - so here we go. They are hoping to see 2401 for a single pregnancy, and anywhere from there up to 6400 for multiples. The problems I have had could signal twins, triplets, miscarriage, or a normal everyday pregnancy. Go figure...they have THAT down to a science, don't they?

So now I wait. I wait until tomorrow sometime after noon for numbers, and then I pretend I can interpret what they mean. And then I wait until they can do a sonogram to prove that everything is okay. The doctor said that everything is too tiny to see on sonogram now, we have at least 2 weeks until it is of any use. Ugh. Hate. The. Waiting.