My pages, like my mind, are blank. Sort of.

I start to write and then sort of go blank. Well, in all honesty - there is plenty I would like to write about, but I don't feel like I can. It is fantastic to have this outlet, where I can write and share what is going on in my life... I like keeping in touch with friends and family, and even co-workers through this journal, however it leaves me a bit guarded. There are things I would write if I knew nobody was reading that I cannot write now. I suppose this happens to everyone right? It is hard to write about work (can get you fired these days), and definitely taboo to write about personal relations with say, your significant other... and those two things are some of the most important things going on these days. (For those really wondering, work is fine - we are experiencing pay cuts and layoffs and general discontent, but I still have a job today and actually like the people I work with. Todd is fine. We are great in fact. That doesn't cover the details I would LOVE to share, but it will have to do.).

I also cannot really write about Brittany or her relationships...those are her stories to tell. I can say that she seems to be doing better these days. I think she is happy most of the time, although I know that she is still struggling to hold it together. She has a new relationship in the works and I think that makes her happy. She has her friends around and seems to like that... I just don't know though...I am not a very good judge of happy vs. not happy. At least I have not been in the past. I think we see in others what they want us to see and what we want to see. It is hard to take those blinders off.

Cassie is doing OK at college. I think it is harder than she lets on. I think being so far away isn't a problem, but finding out who she is and what she wants and balancing everything is getting to be a huge stress for her.

The boys are typical almost-4-year-olds. They are playing T Ball and soccer and swimming. Nothing new really there... They continue to amaze me in their grasp of humor and sarcasm...a necessary skill in this family.

Last week we were on vacation in Jamaica...which was fantastic. I would have liked less clouds, more sun, and warmer water - but overall it was nice. We had a lot of quiet time - no planned activities, and no work. I would go back in a heartbeat.

That sums it up. Now you see why I don't write more. I think I am going to have to get creative and write about things instead of about me...