The Unplanned Event – Part II

So babies were on the way. I was in the operating room, my husband by my side. I had wanted to be put to sleep, but the risk was too great for the babies for the doctors to take any chances – so epidural it was. Very unpleasant. I preferred the pain of contractions to any needles in my back, but for them to cut me open would require serious drugs, and this was the method forced on me.

I wondered when they were going to start, and then I smelled something burning. Guess what? It was me. They had already begun and were using a cauterizing thingy (yes, technical term), which the anesthesiologist thought made it smell like a barbeque. I don’t know what they cook in his backyard – but my god, the horrible burning flesh smell! I was sleepy, scared, scared some more, and did I mention scared? I wanted the babies to be all right…but it was so early for them to be born. I was running through all of the problems they told us we might face and blamed myself for being in labor so early.

I shouldn’t have planted those flowers yesterday. I shouldn’t have vacuumed that room a few days ago. I should have called the doctor the night before when I had the bad headache. I should have been lazier. I should have, I should have, I should have…

At 4:09pm Roark Cameron Kindsfather entered the world weighing in at 3lb, 1oz.
At 4:10pm Cole Easton Kindsfather entered the world weighing in at 2lb, 11oz.

Both very tiny. Both crying. Both amazing. Absolutely amazing. They were breathing and crying, and I kissed them, told them I loved them, and watched them be whisked away. It was sad to see them leave, it was not a normal birth – and I didn’t know when I would see them again.