No man should have to do this....

This is my new bathing suit. No - that is not me. GOD - I WISH. All the way down to the blond hair...but that really is not the point of this.

Last Saturday we took the boys to a local water park. This meant that I was going to have to wear swimwear. In public. While chasing little boys (wow, that sounds rather sick). I surveyed the swimwear situation, and realized that I owned 2. I was feeling hopeful, as one was purchased last October and the other was only a few years old.

And then I tried them on.

One had a top that was too small. I have worn it this year, however was not entirely comfortable with the outcome. My chest has actually expanded in size while the rest of me has become smaller. So - that one was OUT.

The second one had a different issue entirely. The bottoms were too big - gaping in the back a bit...allowing my butt to show...which was not really what I was looking for either, but figured I could wear the tie-around-skirt-thing that I bought with it and make it through the day. I managed...but I am also pretty sure a lot of people witnessed my ass hanging out. I apologize.

On Sunday, one of my top priorities was to to buy a new bathing suit. STAT. Todd actually WANTED to go with me...which sort of blew my mind and made me itch. Sure, we have been married a long time. Yes, we have children together. Um, yeah, he has seen me at my absolute worst when I was in the ICU for months. But - HE HAS NEVER BEEN BATHING SUIT SHOPPING WITH ME.

I have never been so self conscious of my body. Not even in 9th grade gym class while trying to shower without letting the other girls see exactly how FLAT my chest was (as if I could hide it...it is one of those things that is obvious long before someone is shirtless). I tried to act like it was no big deal...and that alone almost killed me.

I don't really think men are supposed to be subjected to that kind of torture. Ever. Todd watched while I tried on several different options, offering to get other sizes or colors. He also offered his opinion when asked, although he was careful to only offer up compliments as opposed to criticism. Good thinking on his part.

In the end, we chose the one I was most comfortable in (good coverage - for a bikini anyway - with no ties on the bottoms) which he claimed he liked almost as much as the one I was not quite happy with (my butt looks too big...what if it comes untied...how in the HELL does this top tie anyway). He may not get extra man points on his man-card, but he gets TONS of them on his husband card. Man points are good with your buddies...but husband card points can be traded for *favors*.