A Hot Story

I had been putting off running for days, coming up with whatever excuses I could to avoid the heat. However today the guilt was too great. I headed out a little after 3, having left work early - because I am a slacker like that. I walked to the mailbox to see if anything interesting was in there (no) and walked by the park. At this point I had walked a block. 1 block. And I determined that it was REALLY REALLY hot. I started jogging and spent the next few minutes trying to decide what to compare to the heat so that everyone would understand EXACTLY HOW HOT IT WAS.

It was Kansas City hot - the kind of heat (laced with no-see-ums) that assaults you when you walk out the front door.

It was Africa hot - where you are certain that imminent death is approaching.

It was oven hot - that face melting hot you only experience when you open a 450 degree oven and melt your eyelashes straight off your face.

It was molten lava hot - that skin searing, body melting kind.

And then my brain quit working. And I kind of wanted to die. And then I took a short cut through the neighborhood and went home. The end.