Malpractice On It's Way

While at the RE's office this morning my husband and I started discussing a new business opportunity:

A Medical Practice for Dummies.

For Dummies, Run By Dummies.


We will be the doctors. We will be very, very successful and people will believe everything we say...because they won't know not to. And really, we fail to see where our medical professionals are relying on any real logic anyway. We can blame unexplained conditions on sunspots or Kool Aid, or even low tide. Nobody will even question it.

While being the victim of yet another sonogram, we were told that my left ovary has only produced 3 follicles. This is not very good. They would like to see more. So, this is where my husband and I decided that the reason Lefty is such a slacker is that it is on strike because I have cut it off from all caffeine and alcohol. Old Lefty is a rebel and will not tolerate inhumane working conditions. Bad Lefty. You are grounded.

Righty is doing just fine. We have 7 follicles over there. Always the over-achiever, never wanting to disappoint. Go Righty. Be the example, raise the bar, show off a little. You will be rewarded.

The kicker here? We have no control over this. My body will do pretty much whatever it wants. Period. This is the point in time where I decided that I was pretty much capable of being a doctor. No experience needed…because they can’t fix anything anyway.

See? I am so smart. S-M-R-T.