Something happened today and although I want to write about it, I simply can’t. Not the details anyway. I don’t really want to document it to be read again and again, and I don’t want to make more of it than what it was. I also don’t want to hurt anyone that may read this… What I can do is describe the emotion that this event sparked in me.
Have you ever had a child or pet run away from you, headed directly into traffic? That feeling of terror, of loss – do you remember that? Or perhaps witnessed a friend doing something dangerous...where you know there is little you can do? And you secretly, and quickly, hope for a miracle that you will be able to stop them? That is the feeling I had today – the one where you stop breathing and your heart stops beating, and seconds later you want to throw up.
Everything is ok. There was no “traffic accident” and there were no victims…but the possibility that something horrible could have happened still lingers. This evening I kissed my kids more than normal, watched each expressions more intently, and listened to their conversation closer than I have in a long, long time. Thank god they are ok.