Teenage Angst

My youngest daughter is slipping away from me. I can feel her growing further away daily. I can see it in her eyes, hear it in voice, and can tell by her actions.

She has always been a daddy’s girl in some respects, but lately has completely fallen under his spell and for the most part, wants nothing to do with me. It is breaking my heart. Not only does she prefer her father’s company, but her step-mother’s as well. I am sure that this is where the real pain lies. I am her mother, and I love her more than my very life. Yet, she really doesn’t want to be with me, talk to me, or listen to me. I am simply a method of providing her things that she wants, when she wants them.

For a while now she has continually defended her father’s insane decisions, rotten attitude and lack of respect for me. She has supported his desire to limit their time with me to the bare minimum in the divorce decree. She gets angry when her father’s and step-mother's obvious poor decisions affecting my girls are discussed (even though she brings them up in the first place).

My plan of attack had been to be the bigger person. Only speak well of their father. Support all decisions that my daughter makes – even if it means I don’t see her very much. When she is supposed to be with us and would rather be at her dad’s (which happens more and more each day) I have supported her and let her go. And I have done this even though her father will not ever do the same if one of them wishes to see me out of turn. I listen to her complaining about her step-mother, step-brothers, and father. I listen and offer no comments even if it drives me mad. Because any comment supporting her anger makes her lash out at me as if the whole issue is my fault. Any comment not supporting her sparks the same attitude.

I am in the midst of a teenager that I cannot handle. One that is no fun to be around. One that doesn’t want to be with me and makes it clear every day. How do I handle this? Do I simply suck it up and tell myself that one day she will come back to me? Do I pull away from her, providing just the essentials and leave her to continue to find happiness and comfort in her father? What would you do?