Tents and Time

The little Vegas vacation didn't happen. The whole losing-the-job activity sort of put a damper on many plans. Instead - we went camping for a night. Mother in law has not exactly been anything close to self-sufficient so it was pretty much all we could manage without putting her in respite care, which is quite expensive.

We chose a primitive camping area that required a fairly good hike out, leaving civilization behind. It seemed like a good idea at the time. However we failed to check the weather report and ended up in a tornado. That was an experience I do not soon want to relive. I would be fairly happy never having lived it the first time around.

It was nice to spend time alone - no kids, no mother in law (yet another kid really), no pets, no work, no computer, no cell phone. Just us, wine and conversation and it was wonderful (all the way up to the part where the wind split a tree, it fell on the tent, and broke the tent poles - resulting in a flood in our beds).

I really think conversation is one of the first things to go in marriage when there is an abundance of things going on all around. Soccer and baseball and bills and baseball and work and school and a million other things flying around making it hard to dedicate time to working on a relationship. And the funny thing is that you don't always realize it until you have time to spend together and suddenly WHAM! It hits you right smack in the face - you have not really completed a full sentence without being interrupted by a 4 year old in MONTHS. How does that slip by without being noticed?

Parenting is work. So is marriage. Both are totally worth the work mind you. But damn, are they work. Even when they are great, they take care and commitment and sometimes it is hard to find time to feed that part of our lives...don't you think?

How it feels

I have been emotional lately. Almost like a real girl. It is like PMS 24x7...I think. I don't really ever get PMS. Please stop giving me the evil eye - it isn't my fault. However lately, since "the job incident", I have been just on the edge of, oh - I don't know... losing my shit? I am touchy. I am on edge. I am ever-so-slightly-unstable way down at the inner core of my being. I don't even know that anyone else notices it - but I do. I don't feel the same cocky confidence that I seem to achieve so easily. My "work personality" is a bit shattered and I am left with the insecure INTJ type of person that I am inside, just oozing out of my seams. And you know what? I am not fond of this situation.

I feel for all of the people out of jobs in the country, in the world. I hope I have been helpful when people have needed me, because there are some very gracious, wonderful people helping me, and if it were not for them, I would lose my patience, and possibly my mind. Dan, Susan, Dennis, Mike, Davey, Laurie, Terry, Bebe, Rey, Roseanne, Janna, Kate, Erin, Dennis, Marietta, Chris, Aine, Pam, Jason and Lauren - and those I have forgotten - thank you, all of you for being my friend and just being there. It means a lot.

However...it only does so much, and I have to admit I didn't understand what people were going through in the past when they were let go (when I LET THEM GO... OH GOD), when they were without jobs. It is so taxing, and your ego takes a hit. Mine did anyway. I am a strong, successful business person. I make (made) an insane amount of money. I really thought I was invincible, and well, look at this - not so true. Now, just like all of those other people I have known, I have to get up, find a job, and heal myself.

Sloth

We register the boys for Kindergarten tomorrow.

I have been looking at that first line for about 30 minutes now in utter horror. My last two children are starting kindergarten, and it is truly blowing my mind. I can remember Cassie and Brittany both entering school like it was yesterday. It feels like the boys were born merely a year or two ago. How do the months fly by so fast? Where do the years go?

I don't write here much anymore. I think there are several reasons - the main one being time. I had been buried in a new job for the past 6 months and have tried to spend as much time on it as I could. I have also been trying to spend more time with Todd and the boys. On some level, I must realize where the time goes and I want to savor the time and not miss so much. And of course, Facebook is much easier to update than having to plan what to write and then be able to articulate in a fashion that doesn't make me sound like an uneducated sloth. On Facebook - one-liners are fine. Sloth writing abounds.

I would like to write about the loss of above mentioned job, however I am not ready to go there yet. So for now I will simply try to write - maybe just a few slothful sentences every day. Perhaps I will begin to share more...perhaps not.

Alzheimer's

At first you don't even notice anything is different. Things float along like they always have with an occasional hiccup, which you dismiss as a normal annoying occurrence of life. After all, things go wonky for all of us every now and then, right?

Then the annoying occurrences seem to increase, or they annoy you more - you are not sure which. You begin blaming yourself. You feel like your expectations are too high. Perhaps you are stressed out. Maybe things have always been like this and only now they are starting to bother you.

You finally accept that the person has a problem. They are forgetting things, making bad decisions, taking longer to do absolutely everything. While you suspect Alzheimer's, you keep telling yourself you are over-reacting.

Eventually you get the official diagnosis - Alzheimer's it is. And at that point things seem to take a dramatic turn for the worse. Their behavior gets markedly worse. They forget the strangest things (where they live, how to get to the store, where the pharmacy is). You spend every moment they are gone wondering if they will make it back. You spend hours looking for them, guiding them back home. You all try not to mention the actual word, yet you all know what is happening.

We are now in stage...Next. The diagnosis is in. We understand what we are dealing with. We have taken away her car. We help her get dressed, make sure she eats, buy everything for her, give her all medication, make sure her dog gets fed. We have to give her 2 hours to get ready to go pretty much anywhere, and assume we will be late anyway. It is still manageable...but we are approaching the end of being able to do this ourselves.

I try to be positive. I assure her that I enjoy helping her, that I want to make things easier for her. And while that is very true, because I love her dearly, part of me is fighting this new stage. I don't want to take care of a parent. I don't want to be caregiver to yet another person. I don't want everything to be put on hold while we deal with this latest crisis. I know it is selfish, and I try to push those thoughts out of my head...yet there they are.

So you hate your customers?

So your customer is driving you crazy. They keep changing their mind, demanding quick responses, asking for the impossible. "It is difficult to do business with them" you say. Well, how easy is it to do business without them? Do you know why the phrase The Customer is Always Right exists? It is really quite simple. If you don't have customers - you don't have a business. Are they always right? No, but their opinion certainly does matter. In fact, their opinion is EVERYTHING.

I don't care how smart you are, how organized your business is, how much market research you have conducted. If you have upset customers, and you are not doing anything to alleviate their concerns, they are going to leave. As a consumer, I know that if I do not like a particular business or product, that I have other options. And believe me - I am not afraid to exercise that right: the right to spend my money somewhere else.

I think most of us in business are familiar with this scenario: The customer is asking for something we don't offer, or is unhappy with the features of an existing offering or product. And we know that what they want either isn't what they need, or isn't in line with our current business plans. There are a few ways this can go. Either you convince your customer that they actually need something different than what they asked for via the "I am the expert and I know what you need, so shut up and listen to me" method, or they convince you that they need what they need and that is all they are paying you to do.

So what really should be happening here? Unless you are being hired as a neutral third party, to give your opinion on a particular subject, think long and hard about how you are going to message "you don't need what you think you need". There is a right way and a wrong way. And for the record, most ways you can think of are wrong.

The key in business is to have a product people need, message it affectively, and treat your customer's well. If you have what people need, and they can understand what you have - then you will begin collecting customer's. If you treat them well and listen to them, they will stay. If you cease listening to their requests, their perceived needs and their concerns? They will take their money somewhere else.

Vegas

We have booked a little weekend vacation to Vegas - and I am as excited as a 12 year old boy with his father's playboy! I need a weekend away from the kids and responsibilities of normal life - and there is nowhere on earth that oozes irresponsibility like Vegas baby. Vegas.

Can you just imagine?

We have a word game I am sure I have written about before that we play at our house. More specifically that the boys like to play. I don't know how it started, however we end up listening to this on every car ride now:

Cole: Can you imagine if there were 400 of me?

Me: No.

Cole: Could you just imagine if there were a thousand of me?

Me: We would need more lunch boxes. And a bigger car.

Roark: Could you just imagine if there were 5 of me?

Me: We would need a bigger car.

Cole: Could you just imagine if there were... Is 1,000,000 bigger than 100?

Me: Yes.

Cole: Could you just imagine if there was 1,000,000 of me?

Me: We would totally need a bigger house. And a lot more jackets.

Roark: Can you imagine if there were 1 of me.

Me: Yes. And it is exhausting.

Proof that Snow Causes Brain Damage

My husband just came inside after walking the dog. I asked how it was out there. His response: Nice. I mean it's not that cold. It is something like 33 degrees.

Hello! We live in Texas. 33 degrees is effing FREEZING here.

All Hail the Purple License Plate!

I recently finished dealing with two speeding tickets that I received inside a two week period late last year. One resulting in defensive driving and a hefty fine. The other resulted in legal fees, a hefty fine, and a promise to behave for 60 days. The common denominator here was HEFTY FINES. And while I don't like parting with my hard-earned money, I have come to accept that I will be doing so, at least periodically, while I am continuing to drive. And because of this, I would like to make a plea to the government...

Let me buy a purple license plate every year. I will display it for all to see. I will pay a HEFTY FINE for said license plate UP FRONT. And in return? I want to be permitted to drive up to 25 miles an hour OVER the posted speed limit (barring school and work zones of course). You will be getting your fine up front, and I will be permitted to drive faster, because I like to. Apparently you are not really concerned about safety (YOU, being the government) because I can receive such penalties as deferred adjudication, where I simply pay you more money and am left alone.

By permitting such a thing, I am saved the hassle of dealing with the tickets (court, paperwork, etc) and the government is saved similar hassles. And? They still get money.

I think it is a fine solution. Please sign me up.

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Car broken. 22 degrees out.