No Surprise

Yesterday was not one of the days I would not file under "fun" or "successful" or "ever want to repeat anything remotely close to again". It would be placed under "KILL ME PLEASE" or "Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?" or perhaps "Really? REALLY? SERIOUSLY?". Given that, it should have been no surprise that I could not sleep at all. 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am - I watched them all roll by on the clock. I hate that clock. The clock of doom. I think I fell asleep shortly after 4:15...and was up at 6am*

Today is better than yesterday in some ways, and yet WORSE IN OTHERS. How is this even possible? I have an incredible amount of work to do and there is no possible way to get it done in the amount of time needed... this will result in me having to let some things slide and paying for it later. I hate that, but it is what it is. Back when we were working together and I was all stressed out over missing deadlines, Todd always used to ask me "Well, if you can't get it done, what is the worst that can happen?" And I never had a very good answer - one that justified being so effing freaked out over missing a deadline. And believe it or not, when I did prioritize and get done what I could, the world did not in fact...END.

So - given that, why does it still stress me out? What is my issue with realizing that we have to prioritize and sometimes...everything does not get done when it needs to?





* Note to Todd: Sometimes our agreement that I get up when you do just kills me.