Project Mayhem

When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake. - Fight Club

I lay in bed at night, the minutes and hours ticking by, and I think of all the sleep I am not getting. It is a vicious circle: I cannot sleep, so I worry about how little sleep I will get, which leads to even less sleep and more worrying. I don't understand the whole not sleeping thing, and it is driving me crazy. OK, more crazy. And I have tried a lot of things to help with the sleeping. I have tried Benedryl (makes me jumpy and fidgety), chamomile tea (yummy but useless), lavender bubble baths, exercise earlier in the evening, no exercise in the evening, sticking with the same bedtime schedule, going to bed later, going to be earlier, staying up all night in hopes of sleeping well the next night (Does. Not. Work.), getting up when I cannot sleep (which leads to no sleep at all), reading before bed, sex before bed (fun, but not so helpful in the sleeping arena), and pretty much anything you can think of. I feel defeated. Monday brings a doctors appointment though, so maybe there is a light at then end of the tunnel. We are going to discuss this sleep thing and FIND SOME ANSWERS...I hope.

Work is winding down quickly for the holidays...so much that our building is a tomb. It was creepy enough that I finally left around 3 yesterday. I saw 2 people there ALL DAY, IN A BUILDING THAT HOLDS THOUSANDS. I give empty office buildings a creep factor of 7. I was actually worried that the place may have been cleaned out by zombies - and you know how I feel about zombies (Cool! Yet Scary!). Today I am supposed to be working because our customer's business is opened, but our home office is closed - so there is no way I am going to that office. With the cleaning crews and cafeteria workers out along with a severe lack of any working people, the zombies most likely have free reign.

Tonight we open presents - which is awesome, because it means that we will not have to come up with creative ways of entertaining the boys between dinner and bedtime. Presents = instant entertainment for HOURS. I am really looking forward to that. I am not looking forward to the fighting and crying, but hopefully Todd won't do that this year...oh, I am funny.

Tomorrow I fully expect to be ushered downstairs at 3:15 in the morning by little boys who cannot wait to see what Santa brought them. I figure I will still be awake anyway, so what is the big deal.