2008 - Reviewed

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Went skiing, just my husband and I.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My resolution was to be in the moment, and while I did ok some of the time, I found it hard to focus all of the time. I will make one for next year…more than one really, in fact I already did. I want to focus on family, health, fitness – and having fun.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No

5. What countries did you visit?

I did not travel outside of the US this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Less debt. We were on a great line to be out of debt this year, however getting the house ready to sell and paying lawyers put us up a bit. I want to focus on paying that down so that we can start planning some big trips.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August when we took Cassie to College. All of October and November when we were going through custody and mental health issues with Brittany, and November 13^th, when the nightmare finally ended.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting back into shape.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I am not really sure there was anything that I spectacularly failed at. I wanted to get back into running and that has not really panned out yet, but I am still working on it. Learning to get back into shape slowly has been hard…

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

The typical colds and flu, but compared to last year it has been a wonderful year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The Wii has been fun for the whole family.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Brittany has rallied after a very difficult few months which involved taking her own dad to court…she deserves a blue ribbon. Cassie has managed to hold herself together in the face of all the ugliness – she too deserves a ribbon.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My ex-husband’s behavior has not ceased to surprise me.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Lawyers. Food. House upgrades.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

New music…and not anything specific either. Theory of a Dead Man, the new All American Rejects, Stroke 9 – I just love music.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

I Hate My Life, Theory of a Dead Man

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, but in better shape
c) richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Insert x-rated description here.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home with family…it was fantastic.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I remained in love, with my husband, and my girls and my boys. No new loves though.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Entourage or The Shield

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.

24. What was the best book you read?

I have not read much this year….but really liked World War Z. I hated The Shack.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Slightly Stoopid (kind of liking the reggae sound)

26. What did you want and get?

Tiffany Perfume

27. What did you want and not get?

Sapphire Earrings

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

We have not seen very many movies this year at all. I liked Juno and The Secret Life of Bees.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 40 this past year. My birthday is in January – and honestly I have no idea what we did last year…I am sure we went out to dinner, but I cannot tell you where. I got a watch from Todd – very nice Tag Heuer ladies dive watch.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A job I enjoyed more.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

I don’t have much fashion sense. This year I was in fairly good shape and I took advantage of it by wearing more revealing clothes, but not in a slutty bad way…I assure you.

32. What kept you sane?

Working out, weekends, a great family.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

None

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Well, seeing how this was a big election year, we were all a little bit more interested in politics. It was exciting and historical no matter who you wanted to win. It felt good to be a part of history…you know?

35. Who did you miss?

My mom. I always miss my mom.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t know that I met too many new people. I have a few new friends at work that make it tolerable and have connected with a long-lost friend from my childhood (Hi Deanna), so that is nice.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

Everything is better when your kids are potty trained.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

We say,
we do,
the lies, the truth
and all I need is next to me

Mona Lisa, All American Rejects

Jack Daniels, If You Please

A little quiz for you:

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

Here is mine:

If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
Fly Away

How would you describe yourself?

King of Pain

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Wild If I Wanna

How do you feel today?

Bitter End

What is your life’s purpose?

Proud Mary

What is your motto?

Elvis is Everywhere

What do your friends think of you?

Never Be The Same

What do you think of your parents?

Non-Toxic

What do you think about very often?

Rock and Roll Music

What is 2 + 2?
Hollywood Squares

What do you think of your best friend?

Bright Lights

What do you think of the person you like?

She Loves Me Not (So strange)

What is your life story?

Having a Bad Day

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Here’s to You (That makes no sense…)

What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Don’t Worry

What will you dance to at your wedding?

Light On (I didn’t dance at my wedding. I hate dancing. So the fact that this is a stupid answer doesn’t matter)

What will they play at your funeral?
Motherland

What is your hobby/interest?

Gasoline (creepy)

What is your biggest fear?

Bottom of the Sea

What is your biggest secret?

Burn

What do you think of your friends?
Carry Me Home

What will you post this as?
Jack Daniels, If You Please

Project Mayhem

When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake. - Fight Club

I lay in bed at night, the minutes and hours ticking by, and I think of all the sleep I am not getting. It is a vicious circle: I cannot sleep, so I worry about how little sleep I will get, which leads to even less sleep and more worrying. I don't understand the whole not sleeping thing, and it is driving me crazy. OK, more crazy. And I have tried a lot of things to help with the sleeping. I have tried Benedryl (makes me jumpy and fidgety), chamomile tea (yummy but useless), lavender bubble baths, exercise earlier in the evening, no exercise in the evening, sticking with the same bedtime schedule, going to bed later, going to be earlier, staying up all night in hopes of sleeping well the next night (Does. Not. Work.), getting up when I cannot sleep (which leads to no sleep at all), reading before bed, sex before bed (fun, but not so helpful in the sleeping arena), and pretty much anything you can think of. I feel defeated. Monday brings a doctors appointment though, so maybe there is a light at then end of the tunnel. We are going to discuss this sleep thing and FIND SOME ANSWERS...I hope.

Work is winding down quickly for the holidays...so much that our building is a tomb. It was creepy enough that I finally left around 3 yesterday. I saw 2 people there ALL DAY, IN A BUILDING THAT HOLDS THOUSANDS. I give empty office buildings a creep factor of 7. I was actually worried that the place may have been cleaned out by zombies - and you know how I feel about zombies (Cool! Yet Scary!). Today I am supposed to be working because our customer's business is opened, but our home office is closed - so there is no way I am going to that office. With the cleaning crews and cafeteria workers out along with a severe lack of any working people, the zombies most likely have free reign.

Tonight we open presents - which is awesome, because it means that we will not have to come up with creative ways of entertaining the boys between dinner and bedtime. Presents = instant entertainment for HOURS. I am really looking forward to that. I am not looking forward to the fighting and crying, but hopefully Todd won't do that this year...oh, I am funny.

Tomorrow I fully expect to be ushered downstairs at 3:15 in the morning by little boys who cannot wait to see what Santa brought them. I figure I will still be awake anyway, so what is the big deal.

Most People Won't Like This Post

If you are offended by people who don't believe in God, or who hate the holidays, you should probably stop reading right here.


We don’t have very many holiday traditions. The fact that my faith in God waivers doesn’t help that much either. I am conflicted in the whole Jesus thing, but really have no issues lying to my kids about Santa. Truth be told, I feel there is as much proof out there that Santa is real as there is that Jesus was the son of God/god/whatever. Sure, I think a guy that did some cool stuff that was named Jesus existed...but the son of a holy being? I'm thinking, no. Yes – I know I am going to hell. No, you cannot save me.

So, traditions. The biggest one we have is with the gift tags. Somehow, and we don’t even know why/when it started, we began doing something silly with the gift tags on the Santa gifts. We give each other presents on Christmas Eve from each other, and then on Christmas morning, we open presents from Santa and his friends. I say “friends” because the gifts at our house come from many different people. If you were to review the tags, you would see gifts from The Abominable Snowman, Donner, Prancer, Dusty (The Stripper Reindeer), Achilles’ Heel (he usually gives socks), The Grinch, Max (Grinch’s dog), Santa’s left nut, and the list goes on and on. Again, I don’t know why – but we do it and every year it gets worse and worse…or better and better, depending on how you look at it.

We have tamales on Christmas Eve (a New Mexico tradition carried over from Todd’s mom). We have ham on Christmas day (New Braunfel’s Smokehouse), and lots of popcorn, cookies, and junk food the rest of the week.

We prefer to stay home and hang out with immediate family, doing as little as possible. We try to sneak out to see a movie sometime around Christmas, and we stay away from all stores for as long as possible after the holidays.

We buy everybody a big gift and then around 20 Santa presents. These started out being candy, socks, perfume…and morphed into big gifts too – because I love to spoil my family. I should cut it out though, because with a family of 7 it is getting freaking expensive.

That covers it. I honestly am happy just tucking my head and going full-force into the holidays – hoping to get through them as fast as possible so that we can get back to normal. I am happy when I am done buying and wrapping presents. We don’t go to church. We don’t go caroling. We don’t travel to see family. We don’t watch home movies, or light a fire. We just sort of hang out and do nothing…and well, it is kind of nice.

Everybody is a Genius

Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Einstein

I like thinking about how ridiculous a fish would look trying to flop up a tree. That is a YouTube video I would watch.

I feel like I have spent a lot of my career as that fish, trying to climb that tree. I really do believe that it is time to figure out what I want to do and head in that direction. I have taken the first step - have stepped out of my old job into the abyss. I hope that proves to be wise financially, as I am certain that it is the right thing for me to do for the sake of sanity. I look at my daughter, the one in college, and am insanely jealous. She knows what she wants to do for a career. She has NO DOUBTS. She is 18. It makes me want to punch her in the nose. I am a bit passive-aggressive like that.

Change

"You can't change other people. You can only change yourself"
                                                                - H. H. Getter
I know these words.  I do.  And yet I still find myself frustrated when someone doesn’t behave the way I want them to.  I know that a person is inherently one way, and yet I expect them to act another altogether.  Is it just me?

Unrelated (cough-cough, snicker), work is tolerable.  I am moving into a bit of a different role, and while I will retain a few of my old responsibilities, most of what I am going to do is new to me.  This brings me MUCH satisfaction.  While the job might suck old donkey balls, at least it is something new.  It is unknown suckage.  That is always better than the dreaded known suckage.  I need a new challenge, something different, and this will definitely be a step in that direction. 

Shopping Smelling Shredding

I have finished Christmas shopping about 14 bazillion times so far this year. Every time I think I am done, something else pops up. It is really pissing me off. A lot. I am tired of spending time and money on this ridiculous holiday and I am DONE!

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Today we were in the car and I smelled what I could only describe as burning flesh...and NOBODY ELSE SMELLED IT. Todd accused me of having some sensory hallucination. I disagree. I prefer to think that smelling is my super power.

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Cassie is home, for a month. This makes me incredibly happy. I worry about Brittany though - she and Cassie don't seem to have much in common anymore - and it is sad to witness. Brittany really looked up to Cassie, looked forward to going to college with her in a few years - has really missed her this year, and Cassie has kind of moved on, or changed, or just not stayed the same (not sure how to describe it - and not sure I even understand it.) I don't think either of them is wrong - they are just growing apart and it is really hard on Brittany. It is sad.

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Todd and I had a date night Saturday and it was perfect.

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The 30 Day Shred continues to hurt me. I have started wearing the heart rate monitor though, and keeping my heart rate below 150 seems to help. We are on level two now, and it has been tougher for me than the last round. We did it Friday morning and I really didn't recover all day. That wasn't really what I was looking for in a workout. On the positive side, it isn't just me...it is killing Todd too. So I at least have that.

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Work may be looking up. More on that if it aammounts to anything.

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The boys are starting to 'get' sarcasm. This is a very bad thing for me, as I can dish it out but cannot take it. I am doomed.

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We saw a strange and disturbing movie tonight about a mom's soul inhabiting her daughter's body - and the husband/dad struggling with what to do (gee, its my wife so I should sleep with her, yet its my daughter so that is ALL KINDS OF WRONG) - you know, just the everyday struggles of life. Ha. Sick.

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Work. In the morning. In like hours. That's gonna hurt.

Not-A-Newsflash: I am an Idiot

I realize EVERYBODY and their great aunt is on the 30 Day Shred train. I have been on it for a while now - having done it 30 days almost straight through and now going for another lap. I decided to do another 30 days, mixing in some running (3 days a week) for cardio. I thought the running would help get my breathing back in shape. See, I have been having a HARD time with breathing lately. Which really annoys me. Breathing is something we are supposed to be able to do WITHOUT PRACTICING. My body has been so busy failing me over the past few years, that this should not surprise me - and yet it does! Lately after every workout, be it weights, running, or The Shred, I am wheezing like a 75 year old smoker for at least an hour. My lungs are not in tip-top shape apparently. I had not noticed it much earlier this year, but that might be because I was not really, ahem, working out. I am not about to stop exercising because of this newish development, but I am curious what it means. Not curious enough to, you know - see a doctor...but curious still.

Pee-Pee in the Potty

I almost hate to say it, for fear of jinxing it...but I think the boys are pretty much potty trained. Yes, it IS about time. They are 3 1/2 - practically dating...and they are finally getting it. Blessed, blessed potty training. It has been a long year.

I am NOT crazy (no, really, I'm not)

I have done my share of bitching about the 30 Day Shred - you know...about how Jillian is a bitch and a whore, and how I hate her, and how I cannot believe that I paid for that punishment. Well guess what I did? I up and PAID FOR IT AGAIN. Why, you ask? Because THAT is what I do. The DVD was scratched beyond repair, and would not play (I blame Brittany, or the boys, or maybe karma) and I could not imagine the stress of finding an equally easily accessible form of exercise, so I shelled out more money for another. I guess that is a testament to how well it works. Right? Or does it just support how crazy I am? Don't answer that.

Dum-De-Dum-Delightful

Thanksgiving was nice in a way. The actual holiday was great, while the days following brought the death virus to various members of the family. I am pleased to be holding down food after a few rough days. Hoo Boy, we know how to do the holidays up right around here.

We did somehow manage to get our Christmas tree decorated in the midst of sickness, and it looks nice. You know, for the first week where we actually remember to water the damn thing.

Work is a mess. I was passed over for a promotion, I have a new boss, and I had to lay people off. Fun all around.

Christmas shopping status: all big gifts for Christmas and birthdays are purchased and on their way. I am still working on stocking stuffers and am sadly deficient there. Needs work. Might just give up and leave the rest for Todd to do. (The more I think about that idea, the more I like it...)

Running Update: Nothing to see here. Move along. I hope to do The Shred-Level 2 tomorrow. That's it. No running. Not tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday.