My Stay at Home Blues

I am in my room trying to work. I am on one long seemingly never-ending conference call. I hear Cole screaming, sounding sad for some reason. Perhaps he ran out of raisins or he is tired or just mad because he isn’t allowed to do the running man on the table. Roark cannot be heard which means he is most likely entertained by his brothers unhappiness. I feel so bad for them when I can hear them crying. But I know going to check on them only makes it worse when I have to leave again. This – is why I hate working from home. I don’t do it too often and I am forever remembering why when I decide to stay here for a day or an afternoon. I cannot take the crying and the sadness when they don’t get their way. It is 2:00pm. Maybe they are tired. I wish someone would put them to bed already so they would stop the crying. I cannot un-mute my phone to talk when there is a 2 year old hollering at the top of his tiny (but very capable) lungs. I have no idea how my husband does this every freaking day…what a nightmare.

My Exercise Plans

So how is your exercise and weight loss plan coming along, you ask? Well, it is a bit slow moving but we are making progress. I am down to 125 on the real scale (which would have been 121 on the old broken one) and my clothes fit better. My size 8 jeans are all big, size 6 fits fine. I want those to be big, then I will be thrilled. Some of my old suites are starting to fit me – the 6’s and a few of the over-sized 4’s. So that makes me happy.

I have started running in the mornings – today marks day one of the 5am run with my husband. It wasn’t hard to go, but I took a nap when I got home – after running around 3.5 – 4 miles. And, today marks day two of working out at the gym at lunch. Yesterday I did a flex class, which is a weight class of sorts. Today I did Pilates. Tomorrow is flex again and then Thursday I have a lunch date with Todd. Friday is undecided but will most likely consist of flex or cardio express (high impact step I think). I hate the step classes because of my severe lack of coordination, but they are good for me, so I do them every now and then. Then I remember why I hate them and ban them from my schedule.

My Italian Beef

Wow that title sounds naughty. Go me.

So I made one of the BEST DINNERS EVER last night. Itialian Beef. You cook it for 18-24 hours and it is so good that I imagine we are having it again VERY VERY soon. Here is the recipe...

Ingredients:
3 1/2 pounds rump roast
12 ounces (jar) Italian Giardiniera drained
12 ounces (jar) pepperoncini peppers
1/2 bottle zesty Italian salad dressing
1 can beef broth

Directions:

Cut fat off of roast. Place in slow cooker. Mix all other ingredients together, draining oil from giardiniera. I only used about 1/4 of the peppers and 1/2 of the juice from the bottle...as I didn't want it too spicy.

Add all ingredients to slow cooker and cover and cook for 18-20 hours on LOW. Meat will be very tender - can use a fork to pull apart. I served it with a salad and hard wheat rolls from Whole Foods. The rolls were great, but the meat was fantastic. It really won't matter what cut of meat you use - because it will be tender when cooked that long. Man, it was good!

My Workouts, My Dinner

I made a deal with myself, which are my least favorite deals of all. This is because if I don’t follow through, well – I know it. I hate letting myself down. So, I have decided to run 4 weekday mornings at 5am (not sure which 4, but know that I won’t do all 5) and then work out 4 afternoons doing classes at the Y. That will give me 8 hours a week of working out. And if you add in the weekend stuff – work out on Saturday and long run on Sunday – I will be in much better shape in no time.

Of course, I didn’t make it out of bed this morning to run…which just figures. But I have had some stomach issues since finishing the drugs from hell and as a result didn’t go to sleep last night at all. I fell asleep this morning around 5:45 and slept until 7:20 and then had to move it to get to work on time. I did however make it to Flex class at noon, so there was an hour of pain there. Tonight I am doing NOTHING, but tomorrow at 5am I plan to run. That should be cold, miserable, and a load of fun.

Dinner tonight is going to be really freaking easy…which makes me smile a bit. Last night I threw a rump roast, jar of gardenia vegetables, some pepperocinis, beef broth, and Italian dressing in the crock pot. It will have simmered for 20 hours by dinnertime when we will have “Italian Beef in a Bucket”. Please, let it be good. I am hungry enough to eat it even if it is average, however after last night’s Too Hot to Even Think About Eating” Smoked Turkey Chili, I would love a dinner I can actually consume. Although, we did make up for it by eating popcorn later…but still.

My Failed Date

Remember how excited I was about date night? Well, it didn’t happen. Todd’s mom forgot and we were out a babysitter until later than we had planned, so we nixed the idea altogether. Bummer, because I could have really used the time away. We plan to go next weekend when the girls are here instead, however I guess we will see how that works out.

My Date Night

Feeling a bit better, but not 100%. Worked from home today as I did yesterday and took it pretty easy. I did accomplish a lot but avoided the bullshit meetings that normally suck the life out of me. My stomach appears to be on strike, so although I am able to eat, it is angry afterward. It is an odd feeling to be hungry and have an upset stomach at the same time.

The girls are at their dad’s this weekend. I miss them. I didn’t really spend much time with them Wednesday and now I have until next week until they are here again. The only bonus to this is that their rooms won’t get any messier this weekend. In fact, I am so sick of the visible junk in Brittany’s room, that I might just clean it. Maybe.

Todd and I are going out on a date Saturday. No idea what we are going to do, but I can say that it will 1) involve no drinking on my part and 2) most likely not last very late. I cannot drink alcohol and staying up past midnight makes me yawn just thinking about it right now. We talked about a Japanese steakhouse (YUM) or a movie however we have not decided on anything yet. If I were drinking, and we didn’t have to drive home, or get up the next day and take care of little boys (AKA the good ole days) we would begin the night at the Gingerman with a few beers on the patio. We would then head over to Avanti for dinner where we would most certainly have a bottle of wine. And then on the way home we might stop by Mi Cocina for a Mambo Taxi (crazy strong margarita) and well, if we didn’t get arrested for drinking and driving we would make it home and pass out. A good night would be had by all. However given that we are no longer complete idiots and have obligations…we will go out to dinner and maybe – if we are living on the wild side – head to the Angelica Theatre for a movie. Which actually sounds great to me.

My Horrible Diet

Day “I can’t count that high” of phase one of the South Beach Diet brings boredom with food. I actually think this is day 8 or 9 or even 10. Either way, I am sick of food I can eat. I obsess over the foods I cannot have. It is hard having little kids who eat cookies and crackers and grapes and cereal around because I cannot sneak bites of their food and pretend I didn’t eat it. It doesn’t work that way with this diet. Stupid diet.

I am really sick of eggs. I don’t even eat breakfast every day (because I hate the eggs) yet I am sick of eggs already. That is a shame since I have 10 more days on this phase – the phase where you can pretty much only eat eggs for breakfast. I would kill for a bowl of oatmeal. Seriously. I am mad like that. Weight at start of insanely boring diet: 138. Weight now: 130. So – the boredom is working. The fat is so fed up with the boring-ness that it up and walked away.

And, lets talk about the weight thing for a minute. We have a broken scale. One I am about to replace because it makes me so angry. Angrier than even eggs every day. This scale that we own tells us that we weigh 4 pounds less than we actually do. So the scale today said I weigh 126…but I don’t really. I then have to mentally ADD 4 pounds to the damn weight that I am already unhappy with. This is a bad, bad thing. I liked the 126. It meant I was about 11 pounds from my goal. But that is not true. I am actually 15 pounds away and that is a huge difference when you are trying to lose weight. So there is this eternal hate for the scale.

UPDATE: I went out and got a new scale, and now that the shock of that additional 4 pounds in freaking print is over with, I feel much more relaxed about this stupid-ass diet.

My 2007 Outlook

It has taken me a while. 16 days to be exact. I have waffled over my options, my past successes and failures, over what is important in my life. It is not easy to give yourself and honest review…at lest it is not easy for me. I hate being completely honest with myself. So, after much thought, I have decided on my 2007 resolution.

My resolution for 2007 is “be in the moment”, meaning that no matter what I am doing – working, playing with the boys, spending time with the girls, talking to someone on the phone, talking with Todd – I will be 100% focused on that activity. I tend to multi-task a lot and as a result never really engage fully in much of anything. I will do email while on conference calls, read the news while talking on the phone to someone, doodle when in meetings, watch TV while trying to play with the boys, cook dinner while talking to the girls. I just seem to be so easily distracted, and it is making me feel like I am not that good at anything.

This is day 2 of my in-the-momentness and it seems to be a VAST improvement over the old me. I am catching up on email, crossing off action items which I am finally able to complete, making lists of to-do’s which I will finally actually get to, and paying attention in meetings. At home I am enjoying the boys and playing with them, paying more attention to my husband, really listening to the girls…and it all feels more fulfilling.

My Perfect Husband

We have just finished cleaning up from dinner. The boys are running around the living room pushing and pulling various toys, dumping out the Lego, climbing through their IKEA tunnel. Cole suddenly flops down on the carpet and scoots to the kitchen tile. He lays on his tummy, pressing his face against the cold tile floor, and announces “KOW” signifying cold. My husband flops down right beside him and they both lay there, faces on the kitchen floor telling each other that it is “KOW”.

My Uneventful Days

So I actually made it to the gym yesterday, which shocks even me. I didn’t cheat on the diet, and went to bed miserable – as is the normal process during phase 1. Dinner last night was Grilled London Broil, Broiled Italian Vegetables (zucchini, squash, onion, asparagus with parmesan and Italian dressing), and Balsamic Tomatoes. Everything was great, except the meat was a bit tough. I did tenderize it and marinate it overnight, however it just didn’t soften up. Today the leftovers are in the crock pot with a bottle of beer and some chipotle salsa…hopefully that will break it up and make it easier to eat. I am hoping to cook it down until it self-shreds. I love the leftover meat that way.

Lunch consisted of a cheese stick, some nuts, and ½ can of lentil soup. Whoo-howdy…that is exciting stuff, no? Dinner tonight: we are going to Café Express. It is one of the few restaurants we can eat phase 1 at. They have several chicken dishes and plenty of vegetable options, while offering crap food for the kids if they prefer. It is our restaurant of choice when on phase 1…and I am glad they exist.

I am supposed to run today, but am feeling oh so sleepy and lazy – so we will see how that pans out. We have a ½ marathon coming up Feb. 10^th, and I have not really done any running since our last one in December…so that will be fun for me. I have to do 1 hour this weekend, 1 ½ next, and 2 the following one. Then we will take 1 weekend off and then have the race. I am pushing to finish in under 2:15 – but given the serious lack of training, 2:anything would be good. Why do I keep signing us up for these things????

Things we learned during our two week vacation:

1. Kids think it is fun to lick every f-ing window they come into contact with.
2. Travel anywhere with little kids is going to be a beating.
3. New York city RIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR’S Eve is a nightmare…especially with two teenagers and two toddlers. Yes we are insane. Nice to meet you.
4. If you make a reservation at a really nice restaurant in New York, thinking your kids will behave – because they have been such good babies so far – they will laugh in your face and misbehave so badly that you will not get one bite of the very, very expensive lamb that you ordered. You will take it back to the hotel with you thinking you will eat it later, however by the time you get Satan’s minions to bed you will want to do nothing but pass out.
5. If you let your kid lick nasty windows, chances are good that they will contract the Death Virus. They will bring this virus home, and it will rear it’s ugly head one hour after landing…while in the restaurant – with plenty of witnesses.
6. The Death Virus will then attack every family member and visitor rendering them useless vomiting lumps for three days. Welcome to our lovely home! Puke much?
7. New Year’s Eve with a house full of sick people is not very much fun.
8. After puking for days your immune system will be weak and you will get the cold to end all colds.
9. Toddler noses NEVER STOP RUNNING.
10. The Christmas presents that you are certain will be a HUGE hit will be completely ignored by your children.