Things that I am thinking about

I am back to work. Full time. And oh my GAWD I am tired.

I have started a new job and am overwhelmed with the “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing” feeling we all get when we are new at something. I am also trying to balance the onslaught of emotion that comes with leaving my babies at home without me all day. This – is a recipe for emotions to fly.

It is hard for me to leave the boys with someone all day long – that same person who is there all evening and weekends too. They see their grandmother ALL. THE. TIME. They see me sometimes. How on earth are they ever going to love me more than her???? And – does that even matter? I struggle with this. A lot. I am a dork.

The boys don’t sleep all night – they wake up every 3 hours or so, which I like now that I don’t see them all day. What will I do when the DO sleep all night? I will NEVER see them. Feel sorry for me.

I love Sushi. I had it for lunch today with an old colleague and YUM! The tuna was amazing…and it wasn’t even Toro. The Yellowtail was ok. The Texas Tornado role (salmon, cream cheese, jalapeno, rice and “special sauce”) wasn’t spicy enough, but good. I just never get full when I eat that stuff.

Dinner tonight is going to be nothing – just like last night. By the time I got around to thinking about it, I didn’t have the energy to eat…so I didn’t.
My husband is gone until late tonight, so I am on my own with the boys…yeah! And also – ohdeargod where will I find the energy?