Boys with Dad

A perfect night.

A Letter Too Late

As read about here,

Dear Teenage Idiot Self,

Let me just say that hindsight is amazing. Really. It will save your ass. Or would if this were really going to get to you.

Wow. Where to begin? First, pluck your eyebrows. Right now. And, wear some makeup. And also, sunscreen. Quit baking yourself in the sun because it does eventually catch up with you. Start taking care of your skin immediately! Please stop wearing overalls and that ridiculous fishing hat. It is giving the people in the future way too much material for making fun of you. You have a great body – start dressing like it.

You spend so much time worrying about fitting in, about making friends. Stop it. The worrying is pointless. And those people you are so interested in being friends with are mostly idiots. They prove it as they age – if you only knew what some of them end up like… Most of the people you are friends with at this very moment will end up really disappointing you. For the love of Zeus stay away from Jahdah and LeAnne. Get some new friends. For now, talk to people more. Don’t be afraid to tell people what you are thinking. Your self confidence ends up being one of your better qualities once you get around to developing it. And as a side-note: high school ends up being one of your least favorite times in your life – so don’t invest so much in it emotionally. It doesn’t end up being worth it.

Let’s chat about college. Don’t go to IU. Just don’t. Take this opportunity to look at out of state schools. You will be able to pay back the student loans, with incredibly low interest. It will be one of the smartest things you do in your teenage years. Get as far away from home as possible. See the world if you can. Meet people everywhere you go. You will wish you had done this later in life. Remember to study and learn as much as you can. Learn as many foreign languages as you can. This is something you will wish you had done when you are 40.

Go to medical school if you really want to. The reason you hate chemistry is because your teacher sucks. It has nothing to do with how smart you are. Believe me, you will be smarter than most doctors I have met to date. And if you do become one, remember to treat your patients like people. Be one of the few doctors that are human AND smart. If you don’t want to go to medical school, don’t waste your time with law. You will hate it. A lot. Business is a good second choice. Also…the CIA and FBI will intrigue you later in life…when you are too old to consider it.

Travel. Seriously. Go places whenever you can. Never turn down an opportunity to see someplace new. BEG to go to Jerusalem with your mom. You won’t miss a thing (especially not chemistry class) and will learn an amazing amount. Stay away from the water there as everyone ends up coming back sick. Whenever you do travel meet people, do fun things everyday, and make the most of your time. Don’t be afraid to eat alone or see places by yourself. You will be amazed how you will meet people anyway. And you will really build your self-confidence this way.

Find your birth parents. This will be important someday if you get really sick and the doctors need to know what your family health history is. This is not negotiable. Do it while you are in Indiana and you have easy access to your records. I am not kidding. Move your ass on this one.

The whole church thing? Not so important. Church is a social thing. It doesn’t mean you are any closer to God than anyone else. Please give it a rest already.

Alcohol…what can I say to this one? You should begin looking for the perfect margarita now – it is a wonderful way to pass your free time.

Dating is another issue altogether. Holding out for that guy at church is ridiculous. He ends up with someone else, and not very good looking in a few years anyway. Let him go. Go out. Enjoy being a teenager. Also, sex? Go ahead. Try it. It won’t kill you if you are careful.

Good god you are uptight. Stop it already. Don’t date Andrew, but date Andy. Let Brett go. He isn’t worth it. He ends up getting a girl pregnant and amounting to not much of anything. Both of the boys in drama with you end up gay, which you really should have seen coming when you think about it. Don’t waste your time on them. Dwayne – that kid you end up in love with for 5 years? You end up going out with him one time and HATING EVERY SECOND OF IT. Just let it go now and save yourself a really bad date. The guy from the gym is full of shit. Call him on it, as he ends up standing you up anyway.

Spend more money and time on music. You end up really loving it. And also running. Run more while your body can handle the long runs. Run a marathon or two…the feeling of accomplishment is fantastic. You will stay in great shape too.

Buy stock in Microsoft – but sell before 1998. Stay away from Worldcom stock. It will eat your soul. Apple makes money again in the 2000’s with something called iTunes. The MAC stays stable and the company really starts to do well. Start a .com business but sell quickly as you most likely won’t have a great business plan and it eventually will fall on its face. The first year it will grow like wildfire, however this will not hold. Make money and sell to the first bidder. You will thank me for this later.

You will thank me for ALL OF THIS later.

Love,

Your older, wiser, a bit beaten-up self

Scary Clown

As I said here we ordered a scary clown for Halloween, and also as a bonus I was able to terrorize my teenage daughters with it. Well - here he is in all his laughing, stabbing glory. Cool huh?

My Haircut

And here is my haircut. Short. Very short for me. Shorter than it has been in a LONG, LONG, LONG time.

Cole Spikey Hair

Here is Cole with his new haircut. So freaking cute.

Roark with Spikey Hair

Tada! He looks so much better...and older. Help me!

Cole with Long Hair

This is Cole before his haircut...almost like a girl, no?

Roark with Hair

Roark before his haircut...good god, somebody cut that boy's hair!

Roark is spotted. As in little red dots all over his entire body. They look better today than they have. He woke up with these a few days ago and we attributed them at first to a possible penicillin allergy, then to Roseola or possibly an allergy to the 50 million raspberries he ate. No I didn’t call the doctor, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Yes, we are always THIS clueless. Don’t look at me that way. We do too make good parents.

OK. So we suck at parenting. What of it?

Saturday we went to the toy store and bought the boys bouncy balls, and also a set of three trucks (garbage truck, tow truck, and some sort of tool / service truck) that we thought they would love. And they did. And it proved we are idiots – in case there was any question about this so far. Three trucks. Two kids. And – only ONE garbage truck. You do the math. I can only say that if you live in L.A. or even Baltimore for instance, and heard a distant, yet disturbingly angry voice saying, “|For the love of GOD…SHARE WITH YOUR BROTHER”, it was me. And I am sorry for the interruption. I am guessing from Texas where we are, it was easily heard on either coast at some point during the day Saturday.

So Sunday brought with it another trip to the toy store. We came home with a HUGE garbage truck, some matchbox cars, and a playmate. Two kids. One big truck. See? Idiots. That we are. Would you believe me if I told you that they fought over the truck? Ummm, yeah. Of COURSE they did. Guess what we have planned for this evening? We are going to buy them another big truck. Just one. And so far we plan to buy one completely different from the others we have at home.

How do we even have children?

Why hasn’t someone taken them away from us yet?

Boo!

I brought the girls home and asked Cassie to take her things up to her room. A few minutes later she yelled and was laughing hysterically. The clown was a success.

Words and Phrases

"Dare's ONE!" - said EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. we pass a basketball goal in the car or on foot.

"It too muddy" - said last night when I gave the boys a chocolate covered marshmallow ghost.

"Pancake" - what Roark asks for every night before bed. Every night. Seriously.

"No Yike It" - pretty much what either of them say most of time we try to feed them anything nutritious.

"Sneaky" - could mean sneaky, but usually means stinky (as in "Sneaky trash")

"Hold you" - what they mean is "hold me" but it is much cuter this way.

"My turn" - it is usually NEVER their turn when either of them says this - they just want it to be their turn and hope that by saying, it will come true. Also cute...yet oh so annoying.

Big Face

I would put a picture of my new haircut here, but the swollen eyes seem to take away from it. Quite a bit. Let's just look back at the last time this happened and reflect a bit, shall we? They don't look quite that bad today, but they don't look great either. Saturday morning was HORRIBLE, and they have improved a little bit each day since then...which is nice. But still - the face, it is not pretty. I have YET ANOTHER DOCTOR'S appointment today at 3:30 to find out what in the hell is going on NOW with my broken self. I wonder at what point they just quit trying to fix it and let it fall apart...there has to be a point of diminishing returns, and I MUST be getting close.


Oh yes! Back to the haircut. I, like many girls, woke up Friday and wanted something new and different done with the mop on my head referred to as "hair". I opted for really short. And, I loved it. And, my husband...well...not so sure about him. The conversation (and my translation) follows:

Him: It’s definitely different.

Translation: Do you KNOW how short it is? Was that INTENTIONAL?

Him: It will take some getting used to.

Translation: Wow. It’s short.

Him: I think I am starting to like it.

Translation: It doesn’t make me nauseas anymore.

Hospital Pics

Here is another picture from the hospital sporting Cole and his wild-ass hair. One of the first things we did when I got home and could function was get the boys hair cut. They look so much better now!

Brittany, Cassie, and Roark Hospital

This is one of the "all family" trips up to the hospital to see me (Brittany, Roark, and Cassie) ... it definately brightened my day. See the junk food in the background? The cardiologist saw that and freaked. He made it VERY clear that I was not to eat ANY OF IT!! Duh.