10.17.2005

Fragments

Do you have those days when you reassess your life and wonder why you made the decisions you did? Do you ever think back on that First Love or First Kiss or the day you got your drivers license? Do you think about high school, or your first job? And when you think of these things, if you do at all, do you remember them and smile or do you cringe in disgust?

It is funny how I don’t feel the same about my past as I thought I would when it was the present. Let me clarify. When my first boyfriend and I broke up (a mere few weeks after we were together) I was sure I would think back on that time and be embarrassed and amazed at what an idiot I was. Now I wonder what has happened to him. I wonder why we didn’t date longer. Just the same I think back to that first job out of college and wonder what has happened to those people and wonder what I would have turned out like if I stayed there and not moved away and on to other things. At the time I swore I would never think about that place again – I couldn’t wait to get out! When do these changes take place? Does time erase the bad memories and we just end up looking for fragments of life to hold onto?