3.29.2005

I am so Lazy

I have a friend who doesn’t believe in small talk. He feels that the only conversations worth having are those that are deep and meaningful. I believe he feels the same way about writing – if you are not writing something from the soul, why bother? I have thought about this – and I am not sure I agree. Especially when it comes to writing. For me, this space is where I write whatever I am thinking – which is not always (and not usually) anything thought-provoking or full of knowledge. Much of what I write is from the very surface of my mind, not the depths of my soul. Why? I guess I am lazy. It is difficult to dig that deep every time you write. It is time consuming to take raw emotion and feeling and put it to paper without losing much of the content…if that makes sense.

I have read many journals where the writing grips my soul. I do not know if it is simply the writer’s style, or if they are working as hard as I would in order to produce anything close to comparing. But I do know that their writing makes me think and makes me feel and makes me come back for more. I love the way these writers can express themselves so clearly that I honestly FEEL how they are describing. Have you ever felt that from reading? I also know that a truly deep conversation leaves me feeling the same way…worthwhile, introspective, dreamy, and useful. I think that is a good thing.

So I am torn. Do I continue this journal as a daily account of exactly what I am thinking, exactly when I am thinking it – or do I spend time on the writing and use it to make people feel?

I have to admit that although I want to try to improve myself - write more meaningful posts, that I am truly, deep-down lazy.