11.29.2004

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

We played Christmas this weekend. Tree, lights, stockings, assorted useless Christmas decorations – all scattered about the house. Everything looks so nice, festive and happy. All of the extra decorations makes our house look more lived in, more loved. Have you ever noticed that about Christmas? When the tree is up and decorated, the whole house seems calm and beautiful. After the holidays, when the tree comes down, everything seems a bit empty and alone.

I enjoy looking at every ornament and remembering where it came from. I especially love the ones that my girls made years ago – with beads, wood, glue – to most people they would be nothing special – to me they are priceless. I remember my mother used to ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ over our ornaments, especially the homemade ones – and I would always roll my eyes and wish she would shut up already…now I understand. I have become my mother and I am sentimental.

My husband is going to try to get the outside done this next weekend. We have luminaries to put out and trees to wrap in hundreds of lights. I can’t wait to stand outside in the dark and look at all of the lights… I am such a sap. Which is funny – because I have always hated Christmas. I have hated winter too – until this year. I woke up one day and was happy it was cold outside. I put on a sweater and walked around smiling all day. Another sign of growing up, growing old, or becoming my mother.

Dear god, what has become of me?