I have been having trouble with my vision. I really should consider Lasik surgery, but just don't want to go there. I had my prescription updated a few months ago at a new eye doctor because of changes in insurance, and they put me in daily disposable contacts...which I had never used before. I tried them. I hated them. I couldn't see out of them. Things were fuzzy and they were yucky. So a few weeks ago I went back to my old eye doctor, figuring I would just pay out of pocket - because I like her. And she knows me. And I have been going there for, well, forever. Guess what? Eyes are WORSE. 2 months later. Significantly worse. Interesting (ok, only interesting to me).

I am now the proud owner of gas permeable lenses, which honestly - I hate. They are supposed to keep my vision from getting worse and are supposed to help with the damage my eyes have from the steroids and other drugs they had me on last year. Apparently my eyes took a hit and this is the best way to keep them stable. Wow - I had this kind of lens 7 years ago, and I really don't remember them being that hard to get used to. They are horrible. I am sorta wishing I had not gone back to my old eye doctor.

Work-Related Nonsense

I am not really sure what to even say. Work is insane. Our company was eaten up by another company and now we are officially one giant company – and well, although there is some amount of stress in that, it doesn’t really affect me yet. It might not for some time. But it is still out there…looming. Rumor has it that MANY people will be affected by this merger as soon as the middle of next month, and then again in November. The numbers the rumor references are staggering, so it is pretty ridiculous of me to think my job is safe.

And also – my job is killing me. We are busy working on a sales deal which somehow landed me in charge of reviewing contracts. I am NOT a lawyer and I don’t work in supply chain, yet here I am reading hundreds of contracts, trying to understand them. KILL ME PLEASE. No, really. Nobody should know this much about force majeure or termination clauses or rate structures. NOBODY. Me especially.

The next few weeks have me traveling a bit for work, which has its ups and downs. I only have to take care of me, which is awesome. And yet – my family won’t be around, which is sad. I will have time to run – but will likely lay around in a hotel room THINKING about it more than actually doing it. I will get to eat out at fantastic restaurants every night, but will have a hard time sticking to healthy options. It is only a few weeks though, and then I am home and work slows down. So I think I will manage.

Oh – in other job-related news: a bunch of people I know left the company I work for to join a competitor. They are now all being sued.


My Home Town

I had not planned to drive through the town of my up-bringing on our way to drop my daughter off at school in Michigan. I don’t have any family there now and have not kept contact with any of my childhood friends. I didn’t really see any reason to take a trip down memory lane. I did however want to revisit my favorite pizza place on earth. And that is how we ended up in South Bend on Tuesday afternoon.

Todd thought that we should go by my old house, see the area – show my kids where I grew up. I agreed, although I am not a huge fan of “relive the past”. I was surprised that I did not get lost while driving to my old house. I was surprised at how familiar everything felt. And I was also surprised at what a disaster the whole neighborhood was. It was worse than the few parts of East St. Louis we had seen the day before. Boarded up windows? Check. Furniture on the porches? Check. Drunks milling around the corner gas station? Check. The sad part is that I think it was always that bad, I just had no perspective…no other way of life to compare it to.

Memory is a funny thing. My old house and yard seemed so much smaller than I remember. The path to my old school – shorter. The neighborhood – more compact. The area – more run-down. I loved driving through the rest of the town, walking along the East Race, eating at Barnaby’s. I liked seeing all of the familiar places from my youth. But I cannot help thinking about how lucky I was to come out of such poverty in such good shape.



I could feel the weight of her leaving creeping up on me over the past few weeks. I would think this is the last time we will … while eating out, or going to the store, or just running an errand.

The ride there was difficult in ways I had not anticipated. Watching her with the boys, hearing her talk to her sister, listening to music she selected – everything she did seemed to leave a dent in the world around me. One that I could not erase from my mind.

I cannot describe how it feels to drive across the country with your child and then leave them there, coming home without them. I cannot even think about it without feeling a lump rise in my throat. I know she is ready. I know she is safe. Yet, it is still so hard to let go.


Excited but Grounded

Our house has been on the market just shy of a week and I have to say that I am disappointed. Here I was secretly hoping that it would sell inside of three days. No, as a matter of fact I am not on crack. I figured that we set the price low enough that we would be out of here quickly. And although anything under three MONTHS is considered quickly, I was holding out hope for something miraculous. No go.

So - do you know what we did? We went and made an offer on a house in Austin. Yes, you read that correctly. We can get out of the contract for any reason inside 20 days, which means if our house doesn't sell, we will have to terminate the contract...but still - A HOUSE. Nice, huh? This is the house and although the house itself is nothing special, the land is incredible. It is on a few acres and backs up to a protected area that is all trees. It is very close to the lake, has a seasonal stream on the property and is in the hill country.

While the views are amazing, the house is a disaster. It is smoke-filled, pet-stained, horribly-decorated, and generally worn out. There is water damage in the master bath requiring us to pretty much gut the shower and tub and replace them. The carpet has to go STAT. Everything needs painted, as the owners have ruined EVERYTHING with smoking. And even though it is THAT BAD - it is still a bargain. The fact that our best friend is an interior designer means that we have a fairly inexpensive yet messy project ahead.

IF we get the house we will replace all of the carpet, existing tile, and flooring with blasted tile, repaint the interior walls and ceilings, repaint all cabinetry, and replace all appliances immediately. We will then add a pool and replace their fence (chain link around a small part of yard) with wrought iron, expanding the area and closing in the pool separately.

20 days and counting.


Anybody in the market for a house?

It is midnight. I have been working since 7am. This is not all that surprising given the week I have had - work is overwhelming to say the very least. We DID pass a huge milestone today though, so hopefully the workload will lighten up a bit. Either that, or I will get even grumpier. NOBODY wants that, I assure you.

Our house went on the market the other day. I am not sure what day now, because they all run together and I don't even know what day it is today. However, they are showing it tomorrow to someone, which is good. Our realtors do not believe in the Open House approach, as they feel that people don't buy that way, and the sellers are putting themselves and their belongings at risk by opening up the house to so many unknown people. I was not thrilled about that whole concept anyway, so it doesn't bother me that we are not having an open house. It is one less thing to worry about.

There is a bit of travel in our future...a trip to Austin this weekend to look at houses, a trip to Michigan the week of the 18th to take Cassie to school, and a trip or two to Los Angeles for work in the next few weeks. Fun times, fun times.

The boys are great, except that they keep getting up at the freaking crack of o-dark-thirty and expect us to like it. Which I don't. But they are cute...so they get a "pass" - I am nice like that.

Not really much else is happening in these parts. Nobody is pregnant, in jail, missing, or anything noteworthy. We are simply trying to get through each day and sell our damn house already.


Go Away

I am here. Only too busy with the house and work to do ANYTHING else. Seriously. Too busy. Go away.