7.25.2008

Not Enough Fun

I am driving home from the office, eyeing the traffic, catching glimpses into people’s car-lives as we pass each other, mooing at the cows, and thinking about nothing very noteworthy.

I am stopped at a traffic light. To my left is the never-ending circus which is technically referred to as “the extension of 121” – but I tend to look at it as one big goat rodeo that will NEVER be finished, and will forever only PROMISE of open roads with no stop lights.

As I watch the construction trucks digging, moving and packing dirt, I begin to criticize their approach. Why are they moving so quickly? They will DROP MOST OF THE DIRT and have to do it all over again. What in the hell? That guy MUST BE DRUNK! Look how he is driving!! SO INNEFFICIENT!! And then I punch myself – because what ever happened to the little kid in me that used to watch the trucks with awe and simply think THAT IS SO COOL? Where did THAT person go?

What is it in life that causes us to lose the wonder and amazement that we all seem to possess as children? When did we all stop looking at trucks and planes and boats as unique, amazing toys...and simply start taking them for granted? When did I stop chasing fireflies and butterflies? When did I quit building forts and playing pretend? And more important – why?

I am mourning the loss of the child in me, and struggling with how to resurrect her.